This is my 2nd year as our P.T.O. president..I have been very active/supportive/involved at our school for quite some time now. The problem lies here:
Our Principal and I have a very good relationship, I thought. I have 5 children who attend our elementary school. I have always been the type of parent that when I have a problem that is related to one of my kids' education, I seek out the answers thru the proper channels, just as I inform our school's parents to do when they come to me in the position of P.T.O. President. I have never tried, nor taken, any "special" privelages when dealing with matters concerning my kids' education.
In the past few months a very serious problem, concerning my son, at school arose. The problem involved some improper, as well as very non-professional, actions taken upon my son by a long-time member of the teaching staff. In trying to shorten this post...my son has been in this teachers class [ with another teacher present to watch over her] so he doesnt miss the work in this class [ she is the only treacher in our school that does this work]. Sooo...I went back to the principal, as a PARENT, again!
I think you can understand where this is leaving me. I have a commitment to my child. I also do not want to jeopardize any workings of the P.T.O. and any inter-play needed by the Principal for such.
Since this took place he has had problems in school with his learning. I have also found out that this teacher has acted similarily and caused such problems for other students [ one of them, my niece]. Since making my complaint[s] to the Principal, I have also been treated in an unwelcome manner by some of the teaching staff at our school. I have also been approached by some teaching staff, with them telling me that all the problems this teacher did/caused for my son have been going on for years and there have been previous reports made to school administrators, obviously with no effect.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO????
LORI
SORRY SOOO LONG.

[This message has been edited by LORI (edited 01-22-2001).]

Oh my goodness is my current thought after reading your post. I cannot believe your principal would have the nerve to compare "favors" your first and foremost reason for being at the school is your child. What ever you do as a PTO Officer has nothing to do with you as a parent and he should thank you for the work you do with the pto not make it seem like you should be grateful to him! Is there any way to have your son switched to a different class?? If not at this point I would forget going through all the proper channels. I would inform the principal that I have had enough and if this situation is not resolved to your satisfaction by a specific date then you will be forced to go over his head and make your voice heard loud and clear at school board meetings. I know you don't want to mess things up with the PTO but your PTO will survive because parents and students like what we do (the majority anyway). I can't believe the stress and worry you must feel sending your child to school each day...this is not a healthy environment and your child cannot possibly learn in this class. I hope you can get this resolved soon.

Lori - your son's future, as well as your other four children attending this school - depends on you as a PARENT, not as you as PTO board member. When choices need to be made whether you STAND UP FOR your child's needs or protect the PTO's needs there is no question in my mind - focus on your child. This principal is toying with you - stop the games NOW. Is the special education program district/school board mandated at this building? Then the teacher can be replaced - especially if she's a negative impact on her students. Is this happening only to YOUR child, probably not. Do not allow your child to be left alone with this teacher - demand a witness until the matter is settled. Put the PTO on the back burner and get this matter resolved now - your son has suffered long enough. GOOD LUCK

Oh my stars. I can't believe a caring professional would have the guts to treat a child the way yours has been treated. I think your first and foremost duty is to your child and the stakes have been elevated. It is criminal (harrassment) the way your son has been dealt with and I would go directly to the superintendant of the district with the doctors statement showing how the inattention to this matter has so adversly affected your son. No person should have to deal with the CRAP that this teacher is dealing out.

It just makes me so mad and sad that a precious child has to go through this. Don't worry about the Principal's blustering (threats) about the PTO, he should know better than to play that card as they are separate issues and he can get into trouble with the school board if he continues on this path. Stand up for your child and let us know how this turns out. My heart and prayers go out to you and your child. Good luck.

This makes me soooo angry! I will try to compose myself here in order to give you some advice! My son went through a horrible ordeal with 2 teachers (although there were 4 involved)in 5th grade so I totally understand and I learned a lot! The first thing you have to do is PUT IT IN WRITING! A teacher, principal, or district does not have to do anything in response to any complaint if it is not in writing. They can basically sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened. You should write a letter to your principal first and send courtesy copies to those above him, but since so much time has lapsed you might want to consider addressing the letter to each of them. When you write your letter it is important that you be clear about what you want to happen (the desired outcome ie; alternative classroom for your child, remove the teacher, whatever)and the time frame you wish it to happen in. Next, rally the parents of those students who are also having trouble with this teacher. There is strength in numbers. Set up a meeting with your principal and the asst. superintendant and superintendant. Make it clear that you are here as a parent, not as a PTO President, and that there will be NO reprocussions for the PTO as a result of this. I personally would consider discussing the diplorable behavior of your principal for insinuating that your child's welfare could be bought with PTO favors! This does not sound like a child advocate to me. You owe this principal nothing, he obviosly does not plan to anything or he would have alreadyl! I too believed my principal when she said she would take care of it, and none of the other students were having trouble, and I was the only parent complaining. I later found out that almost all the parents in the 5th grade had been to see her about this matter at some point and time in the year. I wasted half a school year before I pushed the envelope and went over her head and then it took the rest of the school year to get done what was needed. The district ended up setting up a task force with staff in the district as well as parents. We came up with guidlines and criteria that had to be met (our problem was with team teaching and share time teaching and the incompatibility of the teachers pairing up) before it was ok'd to do and checks were put in place with a procedure for ending it as soon as possible if it wasn't working, before a whole school year went by, losing the students! It didn't help my son for that year but I did have the satisfaction of knowing it wouldn't happen again to him, my daughter or any other child! There was some retaliation on my son by teachers involved, through his grades and citizenship but at that point the year was over. I did take it up with the asst. superintendant and they did get reprimanded, (and it's in their file) and sent for loads of training during their summer. The good news for you is, fortunatly my good reputation out weighed the bad and I nor my son have had any problems at the Jr. High and he had a wonderful year in 6th and is this year too in 7th. He has made the principals honor list with his grades. I never thought I would see that again after that year, his self esteem was so low and he was so down on himself from listening to the crap these teachers were telling him; "your a poor student", "your A's all along were gifts, you really don't do A work", and "your a discipline problem". Been an A student with excellent citizenship for 5 years and suddenly he's a below average student with discipline problems. Yeah right! The teachers at the elementary have been fine too. Two of the 4 teachers involved transferred at the end of that year, so that helped. Another thought for you to consider is that your child may need some tutoring or summer school and I would certainly push for the district to pick up the tab since they failed to take care of this problem and he got behind. Sorry about getting so long winded, I guess I just wanted you to know it may get uglier before it gets better but hang in there -your child needs you and thats your first priority! Please post updates I would like to know how it's going and how it all ends up. Good Luck!

First...I'd like to thank all of you who have posted an answer to my dilemma. Your genuine level of concern has meant a lot to me in dealing with this isssue. I have read all the posts of answers as you posted, it has taken this long for me to reply to such for the following reason.. Every time I read my post it just puts what I have been dealing with right out there in black and white, which has been hard for me to look at. I have been revisiting this issue with the principal, who has NO clue as to what this has done to my son as a lasting effect [ I've given my permission for the school counselor to meet with my son and report to the principal, which goes like this..."Your son is happy here at school and he doesn't seem to have any problems associated with what took place." Of course I get notes and conduct reports saying there is a problem, which never happened prior to the link of events. I also have informed the principal that depression is not a 24 hour thing and doesn't mean that the child can't be "happy" at times.], in trying to right what was wrongly done to him. I "Knew" what the proper action[s] on my part should have been, and now will be. On Tuesday, January 16, my son is having a complete eval to be placed on meds, I have already requested a complete report of findings from such. I shall then take this information over the principal's head to the superintendent and demand the proper actions to take place against this teacher. I shall also put my findings of what this teacher did to my son in writing [ of course I was told it wasn't necessary by the principal ] and formally turn such in in the context of a complaint.
Again, I thank all of you who have taken the time to address my issue with your thoughts and experiences. I shall let you know what happens.
LORI