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I need to quit, please help

8 years 4 months ago #144652 by troubleinparadise
I am in the 2nd year of a two year term as PTO co-president. I am very unhappy with being in this position again. I had a rough year last year with the other co-president. I was hoping that this year would be better. I have a different co-president and we get along great, however the new board and a good portion of the PTO do not get along and I get caught in the middle of everything.

I am a very passive person, I hate conflicts and do not deal well with them. I got into this for different reasons than a good portion of the instigators.

I really want to resign my position. We do have bylaws that tell me how to do this.
I am very miserable, this is starting to affect my health because I now have an ulcer, my family is suffering and my aunt who is like a second mom to me) is suffering from cancer.

How do I go about resigning and not letting down the new board? I am only staying right now because I do not want to leave them high and dry.

What do I do?
8 years 4 months ago #144653 by dlf
Well--first off you cannot be good for the group given the stress you're under and the fact that you have stayed on as long as you have is a compliment to your desire to help. Sometimes seeing that it is time to move on is the best thing you can do and takes the most strength. It is early in the year--the group can recover so I think it is time to announce at the next board get together (or now if you need to) that you know you cannot give your best to the group or the children and so you've decided to vacate the position and allow someone with more ability to focus on the responsibilities a chance to do it. Folks will try to talk you out of it (even just out of politeness) but stay firm and indicate when your last day will be. Offer your support and let them know you're willing to help in a more minor role until you can get yourself back to a place where you are feeling one hundred percent.

I would talk to the principal and the co president about it first to give them a heads up.

This isn't worth your health or your mental well being...
8 years 4 months ago #144658 by troubleinparadise
Thank you for your input. I really hope that everyone will be ok with this. I don’t want to lose friends over this. I also do not want to be a quitter. I do not want my son to see his mom as a quitter either.
I have been weighing the pros and cons and the cons outweigh the pros by far, however, I wonder, because I am already committed to this year, is it wrong of me to quit and just try and stick it out?
If you heard of some of the issues… we have ex president and ex treasurer causing havoc on everything. This started back in June before we really even assembled as a board.

Thanks for letting me sound off. Any more advice would be greatly appreciated.
8 years 4 months ago #144659 by gjcoram
If you're concerned about being a "quitter" you might think about one job you'd like to do / event you'd like to run and say, for family reasons, you can't continue as an officer, but you would like to stay active in pto by doing X.

(How did the board get elected if a "good portion" of the members don't get along with them??)
8 years 4 months ago #144662 by troubleinparadise
most of the board has been on for quite a while in different positions. The old co president has never really gotten along w/ about 3 of the board members. Now the old co president and about 5 or 6 of her friends are making waves w/ the board members that they do not get along with. I am fairly friendly will all involved (or at least used to be) and I feel caught up in the middle of all of the drama. All of these people are the majority of the voices heard and run the majority of the committees because no one wants to volunteer.

I do already run the newsletter and the school store.

Like I said before, since I am a pleaser type personality, I am hoping that I do not upset many people. I know that it should not matter, but easier said than done for me !!
I feel like I need to let everyone know what I do have going on in my life. I am co president,I work full time 10 hour days. I have 2 sons (8 and 7) My 7 year old is autistic. My sons participate in soccer, horse lessons, bowling every saturday, cub scouts, and swimming. My husband is the cub scout den leader and soccer coach for both teams. Which means that I am the den leader and soccer coach for both teams. Also as I stated before, my aunt is sick with cancer (she lives with my grandmother and cares for her), so I feel obligated to help them out. No wonder I have an ulcer !!
8 years 4 months ago #144664 by dlf
No need to be a martyr here. If you can't do it, don't do it. But don't do the laundry list of why not either. Just emphasize that you've realized there is too much on your plate and you need to step back to ensure that your family isn't negatively impacted. There may be some rolled eyes or whatever--but you are helping out with the newsletter and the store. Let someone else take on the job. Yes it does sound like you should have realized this wasn't going to work before you started up with it all again--but that is neither here nor there. No one is going to give you absolution but it does sound like the first person you need to get forgiveness from for your decision is yourself.

Good luck with it...
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