I tried to make this as short as possible, while still conveying the whole situation. Sorry this is so long!!

The background: I am the President of a small town PTO. Our school has 166 students with 11 PTO Members - 9 parents/2 faculty. This year our school was affected by the transitioning of our 5th and 6th graders to a middle school, leaving us a Pre-K (new this year) through 4th school. With the transitioning, we lost a lot of our veteran parent volunteers, while gaining new Pre-K and Kindergarten parents. We have reached out to them, in hopes of making them feel welcome and encouraging them to either join our PTO or become parent volunteers. It is SO hard to get new parents to step forward and become part of an unknown. We also lost all of our PTO parents with the transitioning with the exception of me and I campaigned hard to organize a new PTO. So far, it has been what I would call, very successful: Going from 1 to 11 members since May with a 2 1/2 month summer break in between is awesome. I am thrilled!

We are all new to working with each other and are one week from our annual Back2School Night and Book Fair. Despite sending home volunteer requests for the events and making personal calls to all 166 student's homes, we have only 13 parent volunteers for the main night while we need 24. Of the 9 parent members of our PTO, 3 will be out of town, leaving us with 7 to work the event. Being optimistic with those numbers, we might be able to get by, but there is one problem.

The problem: What I have is three of the members feel that they should only have to work one shift of the three 45 minute shifts that need to be covered. I don't feel that I should have them cover only one shift, but expect my other 3 members to work the whole time, as this is unfair. I have three different sections to be covered - Meal serving, Cashier's Table, and Book Fair Floor. I scheduled each member to work 2/45 minute shifts with 2/3 parent volunteers, with a 45 minute rotation out to classrooms with their child to visit with their teachers. I did not include myself in the rotation out to classrooms. Because the classrooms open at 6:30 p.m. - 30 minutes after the meal and book fair start - I have only an hour and a half period to rotate these 6 people to classrooms. These women only want to work the first shift when the classrooms are not open, which will leave us with only 4 PTO members (including myself) to work the rest of the evening. Judging by last year, the majority of the families begin to arrive at 6:30 p.m. and that is when the book fair and meal gets really busy. If these three women only work the first shift and I still rotate the other women out, we will be woefully understaffed. If I had the 24 volunteers are needed their request would not be an issue. Last year we did it with only 4 PTO members, but we had 24+ volunteers. This could potentially be disasterous! I shudder to think about it!! And I can't even call on teachers to help out because they will all be in their classrooms visiting with parents and students.

I have been told that if these 3 HAVE to work 2 shifts, then they will quit. They feel that being on the PTO should not interfere with their time with their families/children and that they should be able to work when they want to, because they are volunteers. While I AGREE with the premise of that statement, the fact it, we don't have enough parent volunteers to cover the event as it is and to pull this event off successfully, we NEED them to work 2 shifts - 3 shifts would be even better, but I'm not going to ask of them what I am asking of myself.

Please tell me how I can explain this issue to these members that are new to PTO without futher alienating them or making them angry? I desperately want this event to be a success, but I don't want to lose new members! I also don't want small town talk to get around if they make it sound like if someone doesn't make a whole committment then its not good enough. I could lose potential new members if that happens! I have always believed that parents join the PTO because they want to make a difference for their school and realize that sacrificing some of the time enjoying events comes with the territory. Is it wrong to feel angry and upset that these women don't seem to see the difference between being a parent volunteer and being a PTO Member because they actually "put on" school events and while they can enjoy them, working the event is part of the equation?

I feel as if I'm in between a rock and a hard place - being short on help, short on time, and furthering alienating these 3 women. I would really appreciate some good advice!

Thank you!

**I have been told that if these 3 HAVE to work 2 shifts, then they will quit. **

With friends like these, who needs enemies? Given their attitudes, despite the desperate circumstances of the situation (which I'm sure you have explained to them), you now know how little you'll be able to count on them this year. This will be just the start of the aggravation you will receive when trying to work with them on various programs through-out the year and, because of that, you'd be better off if they do quit.

As Reagan used to say, "We don't negotiate with terrorists". So, with regard to your upcoming event, call their bluff: Schedule them as you need to. If they quit, so be it -- it will only reflect badly on them. Asking them to work 90 minutes instead of 45 is entirely reasonable. Unless they are willing to come up with a different solution that allows the shifts to be covered, you're doing the best you can.

Then, get on the horn to all your friends, your church family, the local Boy Scout troops, etc. and ask for help given the circumstances. If need be ask some of the veteran parents if they would be willing to come back for a repeat performance this once because of the situation. Also, lots of teens at the high school and church need to earn service hours, so this would be the ideal situation for them.

As long as you handle yourself professionally and as fairly as the circumstances allow, (no gossiping; no bitter complaining to others), and have been forthright and honest with everyone as to the circumstances, I highly doubt you will lose any other new members or prevent others from stepping forward to help as the year goes on. In fact, once the news of these women's bad behavior gets out, it will more likely strengthen the bonds and committment to the PTO by the rest of the members.

Let us know how it goes.

I feel that the way to approach PTO volunteers is to be happy when I get them and make the best of it. I understand your anger, but these women are not paid nor did they volunteer to be a Board member where they knew they would be asked to sacrifice a lot of their time. They feel they are doing a good thing (and they are) so don't discourage them. People will be more willing to help in future if they don't think they will get "stuck" working entire events.

My suggestion, for what it's worth, accept these ladies' help when they said they could. And contact your middle school and high school and ask for volunteers. You can also ask people as they walk in - tell them "If you can, could you stop back when they're finished to help out for a short time?"

Another thought, and it may be too late now, but do you HAVE to have all of this going on in one night? Can you nix the dinner or move the book fair to another date? If you called all 166 possible sets of volunteers and you don't have enough to help, then they should understand that you cannot offer all of the aspects to your usual Back2School night. It just can't be done - you're not Wonder Woman, just a wonderful woman. And you should re-think future events keeping in mind that you will have fewer volunteers this year.

Good luck - I'm sure it will all turn out okay - it usually does.

I really don't think it is unreasonable for parents to volunteer for one shift and expect that to be their contribution. If you pressure them--then you're getting into a feeling of "a black hole" that is often discussed on these boards. I agree with desert--every volunteer should be praised for their support no matter what sort of package it comes in. Tell the principal of your shortfalls...and tell the parents that due to a lack of support there will be no meal served for the event. There's no fault to it--it's just the reality. Perhaps the principal can gently nudge the parents--but if you begin to strong arm folks--even those 3 you do have will go away.
Asking older children to help as suggested by jewels is also a good idea. We have learn and serve children that are always trying to get volunteer time or even the HS national honor society. There's always something.
Kudos on your successes--THAT'S the story you want to circulate--not that your pushing folks to volunteer more than they want to ... maybe not this time--but soon folks will realize there's no free ride in this and working is what makes it all come together.

good luck
d

IowaPTOMom - Please clarify: Are these 3 women on the PTO board of directors or are they simply "members" (i.e. parent volunteers). My reply was based on my interpretation of your post that they are actually on the board of directors.

I'm not sure I think it matters really Jewel--even if they are board members they still have children and I suspect want to be a part of the event, and while I understand your point that you'd expect them to do more if they are board members...that can't numb any of us to the fact that if they say they want to volunteer for 45 minutes for the event that we should honor that position. I know that as board members we often do the whole thing without complaint..but if she's having this much flack from these folks--then I wouldn't push it and possibly make it all come tumbling down...you know?

d