Another somewhat open topic here: What's your best next-step when faced with an upset volunteer.

It's fairly easy when you or your group actually screwed up. Then, the apology and make right seems like a natural.

But what about when the volunteer is extremely upset and you feel like you and/or your group didn't do anything wrong? I've got a tip coming out on that next week, but -- ahead of that -- I'd love to hear your approach to that challenge.

Tim

I think the first step I always take is to listen. If the volunteer is in an upset, then trying to say anything right then will usually not do too much. So I tend to listen to their concerns, assure them that I will check into the matter and then follow up, usually within 24 hours.

If it is a 'right now' issue like "I paid for this event for my child but it isn't showing on the books" the benefit of the doubt goes to the volunteer unless there is a clear issue of abuse. They get that one time, and after that the onus is on them to show me.

I always try to stay unemotional, a confrontation does nothing for the group or for the situation. I had a mom upset because she didn't realize she was supposed to send in a note to allow her child to stay for an event. It was clearly written in several different mediums but that didn't matter. Her reasoning was she was new to the school and how was she supposed to know what that meant. Of course the mind boggles at how that was our fault, but I took it. I took it and walked away knowing I was in the right and let her know I'd check into things. I followed up sending her preprinted excuse notes that the office hands out as well as the zerox of the school policy.
That particular woman went on to become a great asset at one of our next events. Not going head to head right there allowed her to walk away saving face, and I'm grown up enough to take it.

Of course sometimes I just stick my tongue out when they walk off ... that works too!
d

Let's do a thread on what we say inside our head (but not out loud). THAT would be interesting.

But DLF is right. It goes back to the basics.

Listen first, talk second.
Separate the person from the problem.
Stay calm. Establish the FACTS. Remove the emotion.
Focus on solutions, not blame. (But if YOU are wrong, admit it; apologize.)
Explore options collaboratively for a win/win.
Salvage the long term relationship.

But you also have to set boundaries. Know how far to bend, but don't cave in to unrealistic demands. Recognize that it is simply not possible to make everyone happy.

I had a situation where a parent volunteer was upset that we moved the place where she would hang printed out birthday lists literally 2 feet over to the other display case. When she first called me upset and outraged, I thought she was joking. If I were just a parent and not in a leadership position I probably would have told her to get a grip. But I am in a leadership position and whether this was valid or invalid, I did just what was suggested. I listened to her carefully, I apologized for being inconsiderate and not notifying her and moved on. To date, she still holds a grudge but I felt the apology neutralized the situation.

When a parent volunteer is upset. Listen to everything. If the parent volunteer is just one of those chatter, gossip voices that are critical on everything this is what I do.... I always suggest for every problem there is a solution. You can choose to be part of the problem or you can be productive and be part of the solution. Together we can work on making things better in future events/programs/meetings by learning from our past mistakes. We are all human and we are all on the same salary. Big fat $0. I agree with the other post..never, ever lose your cool and remove the emotion. Being the leader clearly puts a target on your back but don't take it personally. The job comes with pros and cons. This is one of the cons. You have the ability to turn a negative situation into a positive. It's not about the problem or issue at hand it is all in how you react to that problem/issue.

Sometimes, if the issue is really minor, simply waiting a day or two to respond (if at all) allows the situation to resolve on its own. No way am I recommending this if delaying or not responding would cause a deadline to be missed or would simply escalate the person's emotions. Slow or no response works if the volunteer is a known complainer or is complaining about something that is truly inconsequential.

For example, our school held a fundraiser and enlisted the help of a particular group of parent volunteers for a small portion of it. The time shifts to help were emailed to the group. Naturally, the first to respond had the most time slot options to choose from. One parent didn't open her email for a few days. When she finally did respond, she was dissatisfied with the time slots that remained and blew up about it.

I chose not to respond at all to this one because she was already well aware that most, if not all preparation for the event was done by email. She had a history of being a step or two behind anyway simply because she doesn't open her emails very promptly. And, there were other ways she could help if she chose to that didn't involve working a specific time slot on that day (prep work, which she was aware of but didn't volunteer for).

I allowed this issue to simply die a natural death by not responding. It simply wasn't worth acknowledging.