I was our VP for 2 years until I lost the last election. I ran for president hoping to improve our relationship with parents and the community and the majority voted for our current president, now on her 4th year term. We have such a large group of concerned parents but some of them are not able to make our meetings due to babysitting issues and therfore are not able to vote or voice concerns. It seems as if our school is split in the middle and the parents on our board are all good friends that do not ask anyone else for help. I have been involved in every function at school until this year and now no one will accept my help. It seems as if I have fallen victim to the rumor mill since I ran against her for pres, how should I handle this? I would also like to know what to do about trying to get some specific by laws written, some people that wanted to vote for elections but couldnt make it to the meeting were not allowed to, there were also people I had never met before that voted.

I would suggest that your first efforts should go toward finding a way to eliminate the obstacles that keep some of your parents from being able to attend meetings:

If babysitting is an issue, find some reliable high school/middle school students who would be willing to earn some community service hours by watching kids while your meeting is going. You can have the kids in the gym, the library, or a classroom. Ask your principal what would be available.

If parents want to volunteer to help with events but aren't being asked, then suggest that your group go to a sign up sheet system where parents who want to help in an area can sign up for days/times/activities. This sign up can be done at Open House, Registration, Conferences, anytime where the vast majority of parents would be in the building. Be sure to put a contact name on the sign up sheet, so that if the parent doesn't get a call about helping, they can make the contact.

If you can find a way to get those parents to the meetings, then there will be a voice for change if that is what is needed.

As for you being excluded from participating: I would suggest that you go right to the President and tell her congratulations on her win and that you hope that your running against her won't cause problems because you still want to be an active part of the group. Tell her how much you enjoyed doing x or y activity and that you would love to continue helping in those areas. If anything, this conversation may let you know exactly where you stand with the "powers that be".

Good luck and keep us updated!

First I think you should check what you current Bylaws indicate regarding voting. If it is that any parent or guardian in attendance at the annual meeting has the right to vote, then everything was handled properly and you're kind of stuck.

You need to be careful because you don't want to come across as sour grapes. Trying to make changes to the Bylaws, while not a member of the Executive committee, would be on the line of innappropriate.

On the other hand, bringing up the idea of taking on the job of facilitating member attendance, a job that I created for my group and called Hospitality, is another thing altogether. With this type of position you can possibly add childcare, which would increase active membership and attendance.

One of the things that you may have wanted to try to do before you went "against" the 3 term President, was talk with her. You may have found out that she was planning on running again and that she had a lot of support. If that was the case why put yourself in a position to be at odds with her. Of course this is a little too little too late, but for next time you may want to take this approach.

I know it stinks that things are now what they are. So a big question is when does she move on? And when does your child move on? Maybe you need to look at things down the road.

Good luck,
PresidentJim

Thank you for your advice and it seems as if I have thought of or done all that I could. I have suggested finding a volunteer to watch the children during meetings, but our principal states that it is too much of a liablity, even though the PTO has insurance for such things.

The prez has only one more year left and I have many more and I was aware that she wanted to run again. I had many supporters and was nominated so I accepted. Had it not been for the rule of being a member I would have won, there were people that volunteered all year but never filled out the "membership form" so their votes didnt count. Our pto has been going down hill since she has been in office and it is always a select few that does everything and with every new entering kindergarten she makes people feel unwanted and inferior. We have had less and less parents that stick with PTO and volunteering. I congratulated our prez and told her I would help whenever she needed anything. I have asked to be membership/volunteer committee chair but still havent heard a response.

As for by laws, I asked several times to see ours but I never did see a copy. All that was said was we go by roberts rules. Am I correct that we should have our own individualized copy? For the 2 years I was VP I never saw them and we never discussed them till we needed them before the vote.

kcnewman, it sounds like you're kind of stuck. From what you say, you have made efforts to help get parents to meetings and offered your support to the President. Just keep hanging in there: keep offering your help, volunteer for whatever comes up, and when a parent says that they can't make meetings due to various obstacles like babysitting, suggest to them that they contact the President of the group and let her know.

It's hard to see a group fall apart when you know things could be done better, but you're going to have to just let things go. When the current Prez leaves, then take the opportunity to run again and try some new things to get parents involved again.

Some officers use Robert's Rules like some Christians use the Bible ~ they pick and choose the passages that prove their points then conveniently ignore the rest.

If PTOs used Robert's Rules as they are presented, their meetings would take hours. Most groups have their own bylaws, specific to their group's needs, with a passage that states Robert's Rules apply whenever there are gaps.

PTOs are cyclical by nature, taking on the personalities and motives of the current leaders and their children. As board members turn over, so do the needs and roles of the PTO.

Do what you can this year to maintain your positive attitude and continue to present yourself in a positive, helpful, charitable manner. Next year, when your current president finally moves on, you and the newer parents can work to rebuild your PTO into what works for your generation.