Don't mean to exclude any guys on the boards - but this is mostly a "moms" question (and not really PTO).

Our middle school lacks a sense of community among the parents. The boundaries are very irregular, so the neighborhood and school are not the same. Parents tend to be involved in niche areas (band, athletics, cheerleading) around their child's activities and the PTO is a very small organization.

As I run into other mom's (parking lot chit chat) we express the interet in getting to know each other and yet other moms. But how do you actually do that?

I decided this week to work on a group of six - two ladies I know well, one somewhate, myself, and two I've literally just met in passing while dropping off kids. I invited them to lecture/fundraiser at the local library, but no one was interested. About 10 emails later we managed to pin down a night 4 of us can meet for dinner. Frankly, it was a significant amount of emailing back and forth, calling, and schedule juggling. I don't look forward to going through that much effort to organize something very often.

I'm not big on entertaining, but I've considered just having an "open house" and simply having coffee and donuts some Saturday from something like 9-11 and just "stop by if you can". But it's awkward trying to make small talk and get to know strangers.

In elementary school, we were always busy on schoolwide projects and committees, so we were doing something and got to know one another through the volunteer work. Before that, when the kids were really small, it was "play dates", so the kids were present and the focus.

What works for you in a non-volunteer setting to try to get to know other moms when the kids probably won't even be present? Good grief this is about as bad as dating (as I vaguely recall)!

It's easy enough to cultivate the one or two friendships of someone who share a similar interest. But I'm talking about an effort for us to widen our circle of acquintences and better get to know other parents when we have no activities in common - other than our kids may be friends.

[ 04-05-2005, 08:45 AM: Message edited by: JHB ]

I definately understand your point. My husband suggested a speed dating type thing where you invite moms and assign them numbers as they come in and then group them in 4 or 5 (or whatever fits) and then give then 5 minutes to discuss a topice and then mix them all up and do it again, but try to make sure that they all come into contact once. You could also have them fill out 2 name tags-one with their name and one with something about themselves and have them spend 20 minutes looking for people that are similar to them and then 20 minutes looking for people that might interest them and then 20 minutes just talking and snacking. I want to try it but haven't had time.

Something I just thought of when you mentioned the chit-chat while picking up kids: Serve refreshments there!! Even at the elementary level, I see people tend to stand in little groups while waiting for their kids. If we could do something to draw all those people to the same spot(even for 5 minutes) it might help us meet more people and eliminate some of the cliquishness that can occur. Now that the weather is nice, I may try that at our school!!!

Hey Luv,call Blue Bunny ice cream and get some ice cream bars donated for your little "party"!

I miss the kindergarten mom thing, we used to met at Burger King (or another close resturant) and let the kids play while we talked! Is there a way to do that now as a Middle School Mom? I feel the same way, I know my Elem. mom better than the Middle School moms and soon to be high school! The one advantage I have is we are K-12, so some of the parents I know with 2+ children we see each other at various events but otherwise, it's gonna get harder to met and know parents as our kids get older.

A glimmer of hope....my mom still has lunch with a mom whose son was a year younger than me. Very cool!

Our school is an elementary school, but we do an organizing strategy we call "house meetings", which aren't held at a house, but at school. We pick a topic of conversation that is relevant to the school (safety issues, campus concerns, etc) and invite parents to the meeting. Instead of "calling the meeting to order" we do "rounds and introductions", where everyone present has to say who they are, how many kids are at the school, and what made them attend the meeting (if it is a staff or community memeber, they explain their affiliation). Then, we present a quick presentation about the issue at hand, and break into smaller groups to come up with solutions, then come back together to compare ideas. Close to the ending time of the meeting (always have an agenda with a set time, otherwise it WILL get away from you!) we give the opportunity to share stories about how the issue personally effects people there. Then, we set another date for the next meeting, where we follow up on what ideas were presented.

I got to know a lot of people I would have otherwise never met. It pulls together people with the same concerns and really give a sense of communty when we all start working together. Maybe something like this would work for you...

Checkout your local chamber of commerce networking cluster brunches, ours is split by profession or interests (most let guests come for free), our dads group meets for fantasy baseball, LOWES's Do it yourself classes, or coofee at a local campus coffehouse.

Don't worry haven't seen many of us guys here upset about the lack of gender specific posts (unfortunately its a way of life: ie. Parenting, American Baby, PTA/PTO most do it) :cool: