PTO Today

I could use some advise! My son is in the 3rd grade at a K-8 Elementary School. This morning he was grabbed by the neck of the shirt and dragged off of the softball field by a 7th grade boy. My son did not report it to the teacher on playground duty, because the response that the kids usually get when they report these things is "I don't want to hear your tattling." I was still in the building and when my son saw me he told me about it. I have reported it to the secretary for the principal and I am waiting on a return call from him. Things like this happen all the time and it seems like there is not any dicipline for these kids actions. Does anyone have any suggestion on how to eliminate some of this behavior. Thanks for any advice.

Wow! Our school district has a strict anti-bullying policy and believe me, that behavior wouldn't have been tolerated for one second.

If this is a common occurence at your child's school then I would say it's time to rally the parents and demand change. No child should have to suffer this kind of abuse and allowing the behavior to continue can lead to children who are afraid to go to school.

You've done the right thing by making contact with the principal. I would be interested to hear his response. If he says he will handle it, ask him for details and ask him to get back to you with the outcome of any discussion or discipline that was taken. If he brushes you aside, then take it to a his boss.

My son goes to a k-8 school. The playground is divided into sections, each of which is limited to specific grades. This doesn't prevent bullying altogether but at least it keeps kids in the same size/age group.

Tattling is another type of bullying so a lot of monitors have turned a deaf ear to it. It became a favorite game at my son's school because all someone had to do was tattle (even if they made up the offense) and then sit back and watch the kid get in trouble.

Sadly, the grownups who are put into place to protect our kids can't see and hear everything. The best thing for your son is to teach him some useful tools for protecting himself.

My son has been taught tools for protecting himself, however, I am not sure how a 47 pound 3rd grade student is supposed to protect himself from a 115 pound 7th grade student. Hopefully the principal will handle this situation in an acceptable manner. I am supposed to talk to him this afternoon. I will keep you posted. Thanks.

Well, no, he can't 'defend' himself against a much bigger kid but he can 'protect' himself from a much bigger kid. Every playground has it's safe and dangerous spots. Trust me, the kids intent on causing harm know the hidden spots and congregate there. Unless, or until, the staff steps in, your son needs to know these spots as well. Maybe he would (and should) like to have free run of the playground and feel safe and protected at the same time, but that isn't his current reality.

Your son absolutely did the right thing by telling you and you, in turn, by telling the staff. Hopefully they'll react quikly and make it safer for all of the students.

Suggest 'grade' zones in the playground. That works well.

What rules do the monitors follow? Ours are not allowed to congregate and chat with each other. Each is assigned a specific area of the playground and must keep an eye on it.

Train (retrain) monitors for signs of agressive activities. In a large group of running, screaming, playing kids it really can be hard to see which ones are merely rough housing and which ones are seriously and purposely being hurt.

Good luck with the prinipal. I'm anxious to hear how it works out for you.

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“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”

fourfosterkids - if your principal is not receptive to your concern and doesnt act, consider it a bit of adult bullying (belittling your concern,ignoring you, minimizing it etc) i would be very concerned if your head of school did not have a zero tolerance policy for bullying. they themeselves set the tone for the teahcers and aides who supervise the playgrounds,so the msg has to come from the top. at our school, i find recess is social time for the staff, and they dont always supervise. check out dontlaugh.org for some helpful infos on bullying.

Well, I am happy to say that the student was expelled for the remainder of the school year. His actions this morning as well as some trouble he had gotten into yesterday was cause for expulsion. Thank you all for you advice and sounding board.

Fourfosterkids - That's excellent news!!! It just goes to show that parents are the first and best advocate for our kids. Congratulations for following through for your son and being such a wonderful role model for him.

Hopefully your principal will see this as a springboard for creating positive change on the playground.

fourfosterkids YEAH to your principal, i want to switch to YOUR school....doing whats right , and best for the kids. YEAH i say, and LISTENING to parent, now that is what being a principal is all about!! you are lucky to have agood one.

But in the meantime...fourfosterkids, this is something that should be talked about a little more with the teachers. There is a big difference between a child telling her "Johnny isn't sharing " and " Jonh took me by the shirt and drug me off the ball field".

Yeah big difference. I have three boys 10, 8, and 6 and there is a big difference in reaction when the oldest takes a ball a way or wants to play dodgeball with my 47lb 6 year old. Did I mention he wants to use a softball....no a softball!

Just be a polite pain or a squeeky wheel....