PTO Today

I have a W I D E circle of friends who send me many, many jokes.. most of which would be totally inappropriate to post in a public forum.. but, I got this one today... and wanted to share! I think we can keep this thread going IF we keep them nice, clean and respectful !



A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in s ome more butter! HOLY COW
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN
THEM NOW! We need more butter. OH NO! WHERE are
we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen
to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.
USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

OH MY GOD TOO FUNNY!!

And I am not going to show my DH this either.

Cindy

cindy, don't show him this one, either then........

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.


oops, I was supposed to keep this thread nice well, boys.. you can change it to "wife" if you want!

and one more.......

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, " How exciting!!!! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."

OH my god thats funny Not that I would do it, but its funny!!!!

Cindy

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. R Hansome

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. C Whitton

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. M Pearson

Guys, come one, the girls are wailing on you today! I'll cross party lines and throw one out there for you....

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it.

__________________
“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”

"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
[B]Rita Rudner[/B]

"Wild horses couldn't drag a secret out of most women. However, women seldom have lunch with wild horses."
[B]Ivern Boyett [/B]

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
[B]Unknown[/B]

__________________
[B]Liberalism is not an affilation its a curable disease. [/B]
[I][B]~Wisdom of Shawnshuefus[/B][/I]
[B]The punishment which the wise suffer, who refuse to take part in government, is to live under the government of worse men."[/B]
[B][I]~Wisdom of Plato[/I][/B]

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
[I][B]Elayne Boosler[/B][/I]
[B][/B]
"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's - That's because she changes it more often."
[B]Oliver Hereford [/B]

__________________
[B]Liberalism is not an affilation its a curable disease. [/B]
[I][B]~Wisdom of Shawnshuefus[/B][/I]
[B]The punishment which the wise suffer, who refuse to take part in government, is to live under the government of worse men."[/B]
[B][I]~Wisdom of Plato[/I][/B]

Sorry guys. I love jokes as much as the next person, but want to keep the boards on topic.... Closing thread.

Tim