PTO Today

Hi,

I enjoyed reading through a good many threads, but I was surprised that I couldn't find a single post from a school administrator. I'm a fairly new elementary principal that is not new to my school district or administration (I've held a couple of other administrative posts).

At the risk of tooting my own horn, I consider myself to be extremely supportive and appreciative of the wonderful work our PTO does. I WANT parents to feel welcome in our school, and I encourage and support parent volunteers during the school day. I see my role as one of collaboration, and I am very intentional about giving the PTO the appropriate amount of autonomy. Privately, I will share my views with the executive board on various topics and decisions, which occasionally run counter to theirs, but publicly, out of courtesy and respect, I do not share any dissenting views (so long as it's not a major issue). I’m quite the guy, huh?!

While we have a strong board, comprised of hard working, intelligent and well-intentioned moms, unfortunately, they do not extend me the same courtesies. It is not uncommon to be blindsided by controversial issues that are raised by a board member at general meetings. It's also fairly common to have a view shared publicly that clearly runs counter to mine.

Having shared all of the above, my question is fairly straightforward and really boils down to ethics versus common courtesy. Ethically, I don't want to dictate what is discussed at an open meeting, nor do I want to put any restrictions on how issues are raised. To do so defeats the purpose of holding monthly, open meetings. However, I still feel compelled to ask the board to extend me the same courtesies I provide to them. I'd like to be apprised of any topics that they plan to raise that could be controversial or otherwise catch me “off-guard,” and I want to encourage us (the PTO board and me) to present a united front to the extent that is realistic.

Are my expectations off base? Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated and valued.

As a parent group leader for the last six years and one on her way to new leadership at the High School I can assure you that in my world you are not off base with your expectations at all.
There have been times that I feel or see an issue coming and will head off my principal (I have had six in the last four years) to let them know, why a parent group leader not do this is unknown to me. As a leader if we truly want our group to be a success we should be working closely with school administration.
We will never always agree (be warned) but the goal is to keep the families and students in mind when making those tough decisions. We should be able to reach a middle ground. As far as attending meetings I feel much more supported when our principal is there, I feel it shows the dedication that the principal is giving our group and parent involvement.
I do realize that some people may see this as an opportunity to come down on you personally, or some may feel they cant be open with you there....I think that comes down to some negative beliefs they may have about the school and they don't want to say it in front of their principal. I feel though that if you have a problem you REALLY want to fix you need to stay on a positive track and be willing to fight with passion in a positive way!
Maybe my expectations are off track, but I can assure you that our group has grown so much, last year 47.5% of our parents volunteered and our list of family events is endless!
Good Luck and one point of advice...dont use the I am the principal that's why line!

__________________
"When you stop learning you stop growing."

I don't think you are out of line at all for expecting the parent group to extend you the same courtesies as you extend to them. In my opinion it is very difficult to be a truly successful parent group without the support of the principal and school staff. I think that in many cases the parents forget that the principal bears responsibility for what happens in their building and that includes the events and programs sponsored by the parent group. As a parent group leader of many years, I could never imagine leaving my principal out of any plans the group is making or not letting the principal know of any topics of concern the group plans to discuss.

You sound like a principal with the right attitude to be of great benefit to parent involvement in your school. Express your feelings to the parent group board, so they know what you expect from them.

__________________
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.

As one of this forum’s most veteran members, I too am very surprised we've never had a principal post. After my 11 years working with parent groups and many discussions with 20+ year principals, I'll be even more candid than you were.

Parent groups are a principal's best resource and worst nightmare all rolled up into one. Even for a GREAT principal - it's not easy. You have concerns far beyond what the typical parent understands. Each year can be a roller coaster. You can have a fantastic year (or span of years) when the group accomplishes far more than expected. Then it all falls apart with a flaky president, a board that can't get along, or someone with a personal agenda.

You are trying to oversee employees (teachers/staff), deal with students, manage a building, adhere to more policies than you can track, and deal with volunteers - who tend to run amuck at least once in awhile, no matter how well-intentioned. You get to play referee with all parties and oh-by-the-way try to ensure some education occurs with the students.

And all the while, the parent org is claiming "independence". But YOU get the calls from every parent who disagrees with how funds were used, how a PTO meeting was conducted, or why XYZ fundraiser was approved. If - heaven forbid - there's embezzlement or a serious problem within the PTO/PTA, the school's reputation is tarnished.

I am a long time proponent of parent groups and volunteers in school. But your job is not easy. I freely admit I would never have the patience or energy. I applaud your input and forbearance! Your expectations are quite fair.

Really good thread. Thanks for posting it.

I too think your expectations are fair, but -- as a former administrator and current parent group leader -- I'd caution you against expecting all parents (and even parent group leaders) to understand those expectations automatically.

As I'm sure you know parents and parent group leaders come in all styles. (Just as principals do...). As a principal who gets it, what can you do systematically to help your parent leaders understand how you and they can best work together? How about when elections take place, you do spend an hour or half a day meeting with the new board going over these types of things? A lot of parents may not understand why some of those things that you think are so important are so important.

Can you help the leaders put in place policies or standing rules of some sort that make things even more clear?

You're doing things just right, in my opinion, by trying to allow both the reality and the perception of independence. That doesn't mean that you can't use your inter-personal and leadership skills to guide how that independent entity works.

Frankly, it's the same advice I give to a good parent group leader trying to deal with a difficult principal -- how can you use all your devices to wind up at the best result?

Thanks for your support of parent involvement. And good luck in your important work.

Tim

Ditto everything above. I think too that some folks just don't have experience playing in a cooperative environment where team is not spelled with an "I". It is important to emphasize at the start of the year the "Do unto others" aspect of meetings and interactions and would suggest the type of meeting Tim is discussing up front to ensure the board understands the professional standards of interaction that will make you all successful. I never let my principal walk into a minefield--because she's my prinicipal and I feel a sense of loyalty there. She as well would never slam dunk me in front of the parents because we get "it". "It" being that I have earned her respect and she has mine but the bottom line is we operate in her school...and I respect her authority...THAT sets the tone for cooperation and negotiation with our parents at all levels.

Good luck and welcome to the boards. There's all sorts of fresh air that has rushed in with this post!
d

To me, this problem sounds as though the PTO President of your school is not doing her job properly. IMO, an agenda for the upcoming meeting should always be sent out, at least a few days before the meeting. This provides all an opportunity to ask for something to be added to the agenda and/or to know what is going to be discussed.

Next, IMO, certain topics do not belong at the PTO meeting. Many of which might cause the types of concerns that you are bringing up. As President it is my job, or at least I see it that way, to control the meetings. If a topic is brought up that was not on the agenda then it is my responsibility to ensure that it is PTO business. Some parents (usually non-active PTOers) believe that a PTO meeting is a forum to blindside the Principal. I am very against this type of behavior. Luckily it has only happened one or two times and each time I allowed the Principal to respond as he wished and then I cut in to explain that this topic is NOT PTO business and that I am sure that the Principal would be open to discussing the topic privately.

I would recommend communication with your PTO President. Ask her if she could provide the agenda for the meeting a couple of days before, and that if anything other than what is on the agenda at that time gets added for her to let you know. This way if you know of a topic that appears as though it may be controversal, you can discuss it with her and/or her executive board, prior to the meeting. Giving them the insight into your answers/reasoning and trying to get their buy-in will only help prevent these types of topics from getting out of hand.

Regards,
PresidentJim

This has been a great thread and it seems sometimes that the principals get a bad rap,but I know now that there are PTO's working together.
I have never had any problems with our new principal nor our last one. Not to say that issues haven't come up. But we have always worked together on them. Her helping me, me helping her, giving a heads up when parents are having a problem with something and they have always done the same for me.
My philosophy has always been that yes we are a pto and seperate, but we have one common goal the school. So I would never ambush a manager at my work place or not ask them about having an event, whatever the issue might be.
I think your expectations are totally on target. Maybe you can set up a meeting date with them and let them know you are there for them and the door is always open, and what some of your expectations are. That may get the ball rolling and get it going in the right direction.


Note to add I would never put something on the agenda that I thought in any way would catch the principal off guard without telling them or asking them beforehand. And same as someone else said when a topic is brought up like that I tell them its not on the agenda and we or the principal could talk latter.

Thanks for posting welcome to the boards.

__________________
Cindy

____________________________________________
"People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse the privelege."

I agree with posted comments.

We have a good respectfully relationship with our principal. I feel comfortable disagreeing with him in a private meeting or an executive board meeting. We negotiate on items and sometimes agree to disagree. But he too likes to present a united front at open meetings. He likes for me to choose my words carefully, to present items in the most positive light possible (even when it takes some spin to figure how the newest problem is really an opportunity for growth, etc...), basically to be a good leader. Leaders try to unite their members and to avoid unnessesary controversy. That is the qualities of a good principal, a good manager, or a good PTO leader.

An honest conversation with your board is needed.

As a PTO president, I appreciate your openness. I agree with all that has been said in prior responses and I wish to add a few items of my own.

In regard to you feeling blindsided by issues at PTO meetings, I truly believe you need to talk openly with the Board about this. This may very well be a miscommunication or a misunderstanding. I would think (hope) that your board is not trying to blindside you in front of other parents. From my experience this year, parents bringing up issues that were not on the agenda have blindsided myself & my board. Unfortunately for all of us on our board, we have been hit with topics we did not expect to be thrown at us. We were quite surprised and very uneducated to the topics/concerns that were brought up. I felt blindsided as much as our principal was blindsided. We had no prior knowledge that this was going to occur. I then asked when I was able to break in without appearing too rude for these parents to please allow us to continue to finish out PTO meeting, since this item was not something PTO would be involved in, and when it was done---they could ask questions as they see fit privately. But not knowing your situation---I can only offer the suggestion to ask them. If your board is like ours---we are very open and honest. If you were my principal---I would love for you to come to me and voice your concerns and questions. This opens the lines of communication. It amazing to me how 1 thing can be turned into something else by the facts not being known. And you may be pleasantly surprised to find out that your board, has no idea of your concerns or that they are making you feel blindsided by issues. Or your PTO parents may be blindsiding them as well as you.

Now if they are doing this on purpose---that is a completely different issue. Then I can only offer the suggestion that school will be over in about 4 months and the board will most likely change. And you can meet with the new members to form a great working relationship.

I hope this helps and good luck.