New Volunteer, Old Volunteer — What they’d like to say.
September 12th, 2008 by tsullivanIt’s that time of year when the new PTO cubs start bugging the seasoned PTO mama bears. Yup, I said it 
Whether you’re the spirited newcomer or the grizzled old verteran, I hope you can find some peace by thinking about what the other side is going through. This column on the gap between old volunteers and new volunteers could help.
Also find this quick diary/blog interesting from a brand new PTOer, attending her first meeting at a new school. Good to hear what the new eyes see. Love the observation about just how much trash can be turned into school cash (and the fact that she’s diving through the home trash to recover school treasure).
September 16th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Hi there,
I am a grandmother with 3 of them in school, kindergarten, 1st and 4th grades. I wish you would write something about grandmothers volunteering. My situation is that I, like most moms of young school age children, have to work during the day hours. I did not get to volunteer with my 2 sons when the were in school and I wish I could have.
When my 1st granddaughter went to kindergarten,(I do not work, retired in 1999) I went to the school and volunteered. They immediately took me in and gave me several assignements that I was to complete. I loved it. I couldn’t wait to get to school the next morning. The seemingly unwanted task of cutting out the box tops for cash, trimming each to the perfect size, then peeling off just the top skin of the box top so that the weight of the mail would be lessend, was one of my jobs. I loved it. I also spent an entire day in the library making laminated bookmarks in all different shapes from their supply of die cut stampers. The librarian was shocked that I had made thousands that day, all neatly rubber-banded together and place in a box for her. She said that one task will not have to be tackled again the entire year. I loved it. I took on more and more as they asked me to help with Book Fair, T-Shirts sales, jacket sales, etc. I was giving my time to help at my granddaughter school because she was there. She loved the idea that her ‘Melly’ worked in the library and that she got to see me on the day of the week her class went to library. I also got to step out for 20 minutes and sit with her at lunch time. I was on cloud nine. At the end of the semester right before Christmas break, her classroom had a pajama party and her teacher asked if I would help with the party, snacks, drinks, etc. I brought lots of blankets that I personally made of fleece and the kids all laid on the floor in front of the TV to what “The Polar Express”. What a day….Then my granddaughter’s mother came to get her early from the party and told the teacher she was removing her from school and was going to home-school her. I nearly died that day. It was because of me helping out at the school weekly, assisting my granddaughter’s teacher, dressing up as Mrs. Santa Claus for picture day, and I played Mother Goose weekly and read to different K-1 classes in full costume and bonnet. I was Mrs. claus and Mother Goose, what an honor. Why is it that the new mother’s of today get jealous of us because we now have lots of time on our hands and we wish to volunteer at school. PTO or PTA starts with the word Parent, but the PTOs and PTAs appreciate the help from anyone, especially when they have a grandmother that wants to participate in any capacity. Please write about volunteering does include grandmothers and that the mother’s should feel great that their child’s grandmother is there for the child. I now have 2 more in school, K and 1st, and that mother is jealous and selfish and does not want me at the school because she can’t be there because she has to work. New mother’s need to grow up and realize this is a good thing, not a slap in the face to the mother. I just loved volunteering and being in the school and helping. I have been ‘black-listed’ by my daughters in law, plural, so that I cannot even go into the school for any purpose. They have made false accusations to the principal to make sure I am not allowed in the school. What is wrong with this picture?
Thank you, Melanie, Melly, Granmelly, Mrs. Santa Claus and Mother Hubbard
September 17th, 2008 at 10:57 am
How old are your daughters in law? How many children do each of them have? How long has each of them been in laws? Could it be that at one point you and one of them had a bad falling out, and that there are still hidden resentments? Is it possible that perhaps they might feel that your time spent at school is being “rubbed” in the faces? Or, that if you and one of them have had a falling out, that she could be influencing the other to “follow her lead”?
The scenario just doesn’t completely fit. I do agree that they might be jealous to a point, but this sounds pretty extreme. How do your sons feel about all of it? Are they even aware of what is going on?
How long had you been going to school, and what do the grandchildren have to say? Or are they too young? Kids are much wiser than adults give them credit for, especially at a young age. Maybe perhaps another close family member could have a nice unsuggestive chat with the kids and find out more, or how they feel about ‘Melly’ no longer being at school.
I have encouraged grandparents to join in for anything they possibly can and always hope they do. Our children love having ANY grandparents at school and it makes all involved feel great.
Good Luck
September 17th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
This sounds more like a family problem than a PTO/PTA or school problem. If you still want to volunteer for a school find another one to help out at a few days a week. Schools love mentors & volunteers! And children enjoy having them around. Some children don’t have grandparents and the volunteers that come into our school are almost a replacement.
Set up a family meeting that includes your sons & daughters-in-law all together at the same time & place and talk this out. Otherwise this will boil over into bigger family problems.