I'm not so sure about the bullying parents and their influence on their kids, but I am familiar with parents who are intimidated and how THIS affects their children.

I've sen first hand how it teaches kids to conform, follow rather than lead and be a part of the circle that ostracizes or taunts another. I was one to keep my mouth shut and give in to keep the peace, but then I worried about the message it was giving my kid. Not that the message NOW he's getting is all that much better I suppose (he sees me at odds with his classmates' mothers and the principal and generally not winning) but I feel at least he sees me sticking up for myself rather than succombing to peer pressure. He's seeing it's not easy to stand up for what you believe in, but that it's important to do to retain your self resepct. Sometimes i worry though that he's seeing the message, "Why bother when you'll lose any way?" but I try not to think about that [img]tongue.gif[/img] .

At any rate--check out this thread: Bullying--And I'm Not Talking About the Kids .

I'm not sure about the success of the assemblies. Our school has a huge anti-bullying program, but it doesn't seem to be working all that well. I think a large part of the problem is that the princpal and a good number of the teachers are bullies and they get away with it! The majority of parents are cowed, and when the superintendent and board of ed don't punish the bulliers and the victims (parents--and sometimes kids) are STILL victimized it sends a powerful message to the kids.

Bullying is not only prevalent among the kids but among some parents - against other parents-(wonder where they learn their attitudes, the kids..) any ideas on how to deal with parent volunteers that treat other PARENTS with less than desired *respect* (ie bullying of other parents via PTO interactions) yet the same individuals are allowed to work on school grounds with the children. How can one assume an adult who treats other adults disrepectfully, will act mature when interacting with kids. and what silent messages might kids pick up when being tutored by an adult that has shown qualities we dont want instilled in our kids?any insights?

I am an ex headteacher of a 520 pupil 7-11yr junior school in England and now work as a consultant to an English playground equipment manufacturing company. On a recent fact finding trip to the States I found that the USA was significantly behind the UK in how they dealt with bullying situations.
Many years ago schools in the UK used to say "we don't have a bullying problem here" as they felt that it would mean pupils would leave and funding would drop.They often left kids to slog it out and sort it out for themselves only getting involved when forced to. Over the last 15 years it has been recognised that all schools must address the issue of bullying and create a culture where bullying is not tolerated - by anyone.
The concept of violence being a solution is a false one. Dealing with bullying by bullyiing back only feeds the notion that this is the way to succeed.You create people who will attempt to bully throughout their life as this is the best route to "get your way".
What has to happen is a whole culture change. A recognition that in a society respect is given to everyone, even those who are different.Those who cannot show this respect are not part of society they are isolated.
The company I am a consultant for has created some items of playground equipment that help in reducing bullying and social isolation by creating zones for children and features that appeal to different types of children.I don't want to advertise but please take a look at our temporary website. www.elementaryplay.com or ptotoday yellow pages
We have many headteacher clients who are very happy to support the fact that play time is much calmer once this equipment is in place.
Don't despair about the way your schools deal with bullying just get everyone involved in understanding what is aceptable behaviour and what is not. It will take time and may not be much of a relief to those whose children are being bullied at the moment. But in the long run it is worth it.
I won't try to kid you into thinking a couple of bits of equipment are going to change anything but they are a visible feature that shows that the school cares about everyone. That the school is a place where ideal society values are being lived.

I too have experienced this with my son. He is a good athlete and a nice kid. He was getting picked on because his little 10 year old team was winning the city baseball league...can you believe we had parents scouting him to see how they could beat his team. They are 10 for goodness sake!!! My husband was the coach. I finally went to the school and siad if it didn't stop on the playground our son had permission to hit back and deck the 2 kids. They said he would be suspended and I told them go ahead. This got their attention and they were all over it. The bullying ceased.....and the best part is his team beat the bullies team to win the baseball championship. However, we insisted he show goods sportsmanship and go shake the other kid's (brat) hand. Sometimes I think you just have to show the bully and the school that your child will not take it and will fight back.

By the way 2 great books to read are Queen Bees and Wannabees and Queen Bee Moms and Kingpen Dads. The books give great advice as to how to deal with these situations.

the following website is useful for adult bullying information, www.bullyonline.org
(i was forcibly resigned from our PTO and committees after the officers met privately without ever exchanging one word with me. exclusionary practices are one hallmark of bullies.)

I'll be glad to offer some resources from my website www.TheBullyFreeZone.com On the site are several free resources. I also have a site for students at www.BullyFreeIdeas.com I hope this helps!