I really can't help you but came here for advice myself.  I just left my grandsons school where the secretary is always rude and condescending but today got the 'treat' of meeting the principal where he spoke loudly enough in negative tones about my bringing pre-packaged treats, that I could hear him in the hall.  Along with all the others waiting.

My kids went to this school and the arrogance of the office 'personnel' is well known from years ago.  But still?  Still to this day?  How is it that these people get jobs with children (their choice, nobody, least of all me, forced them into this profession) yet they walk around like bullies.  They act as if they are doing us some huge favor by 'teaching' our children and we should walk around behind them kissing their butts.  

I really hate that I am so upset.  The school year (and my grandsons education) has just begun.  If they are this rude to me just bringing in holiday treats or when I bring in donations for art class or science class, I just wonder how rude they may be to him.  I wonder how he can get his education off to a good start when the school appears to be run by egomaniacs that crave authority and act so dismissively to others.  I am totally disgusted and don't want to be.

I used to volunteer at that school for all of my children.  With the ego of admin, I can tell you, I am more than reluctant to volunteer for these people.  I know myself and being spoke down to in this manner would open my mouth to some negative retorts and I don't want these bullies targeting my disabled grandson as they are already mad that they have to provide services for him.

I don't know the answer for you, but wish you the best.