This is the type of stuff that can divide a parent group, what needs to be asked is "what is the best thing I can do to prevent this from becomming an issue that can destroy what we have been working for?" If you find that you truly can not look at that question and be truthful and positive then maybe you need to find an out and volunteer in other ways. Does it mean you are the loser? No it means that you care enough to do the right thing. What ever you do please do not get into the middle of a negative he said she said type thing, it can and may destroy everything...is that worth it?

A lot of what you say about how things are run, sounds just a bit juvenile at least that is my read of your words. You are right in how you feel.Who indeed would want to deal with a situation that youdescribe.
Every year, new people join the school and old people leave, If you are there for 9 more years, you have a good chance of seeing a better climate so dont assume the status quo will continue, it wont. Dont you elect new officers every year? anyway, for the moment, you can always help the school or teachers directly, no one has to be part of the parent group to contribute to a public school. it is your right be involved in your kids education. you do NOT have to put up with any unfairness on anyones part, in order to be a positive force and helping hand to your school. some of what you say,,,,,like that people love to talk about the group etc... (sounds like you mean gossip) really does sound a bit non-adult behavior and in general it sounds like your group doenst have the full support of its parent memebrs by the change in participation...sounds like there are other issues going on and you are probably not alone.......that is sad and nothing you can change if they are not willing to talk with you and find a coommon solution. good luck and dont lose your good energy and desire to help the school!! nothing is more important to the kids than to see their parents involved!! and , those kids have been shown to do better in school, too. its a win win. find a way to keep on helping and let the other stuff just fall by the wayside if theyre not willing to have a face to face, neutral, discussion rather than the behind your back (or behind your phone) type of treatment.

There's a funny thing about bias. Those who have a built-in bias quite often insist that it's not affecting their point-of-view or decisions/actions at all. That's why we don't let the sister of the victim sit on the jury at the trial of the accused. Even if that sister was Mother Teresa.

I guess all I'm saying is there is a chance that you're too personally involved in this situation to see it clearly. Just as there's a good chance that the other photographer is, too. I can tell from your posts that you feel aggrieved and like the victim here -- and you may well have been treated poorly here -- but as a third-party observer, it's hard to know what-all has gone on when the only report is from someone with such a clear possible bias.

The most important things that i've read are:

1. You want to be involved and you want the shcool to be a great place; and

2. You have 9 more years.

Is this photography account worth this? What would happen if you went to the board and said: "You know what. This issue is causing way too many problems and taking us away from what we're all here for. I think we should perhaps think about some policies and habits that will help us avoid this in the future. But in the meantime, I suggest that -- on this decision -- we decide to not use any school-related vendor. Let's find a great photographer and move on."

And then work slowly and carefully and well over the next month and 6 months and three years to be part of a team doing great work for the school, maybe even encouraging folks who you think will be on your side (your side = want to see a well-run group do good work; not: your side = your side of the photo controversy)

There's probably nothing that we or anyone can say to make you feel good about the photography situation. It's very personal to you. Question is: can you get past it? If no, I hope you'll not make it grow into a cauldron that envelops a parent group for 6 months. If yes -- great. I hope you can help your parent group do great work.

Just a thought.

Tim

I Understand How You Say That I Should Stay With The Group, But I Feel That What They Did Was Wrong. They Could Not Prove The First Thing Taht They Said So They Caome Up With Something Else, That I Can Not Plan The Dance And Do The Photos To. And So After The Presadent Called Me To Tell Me This, She Called The Other Person To Tell Her That I Was Stepping Down Because I Could Not Handle Both. That Is A Lie. I Never Said That. I Was Never Given The Option Of What I Wanted To Do. They Never Told Me That I Could Not Do Both. I Also Feel That There Sould Of Been A Meeting With All Parties Involved Not Over The Phone. My Thing Is I Am Not Sure How Much The Other Board Members Are Telling Me The Truth About This Problem. My Thing Is Why Be With A Group If You Can Not Trust One Person Or The Hole Group. I Think That They Just Swept It Under The Rug Because It Is The Boards First Yesr And They Don't Want Any More Conflict Then The Already Is. The People In The School Like To Talk About The Pto. Also At Our First Meeting Of The Year We Had About 75 Maybe More May Be Less People There And One Person Stated To Complain And I Know That Got Alot Of People Mad. At Our Second Meeting We Had About 15 Maybe More Maybe Less. But The Same Person Started In Again About How We Are Not Running The Pto Right And It Should Be Done This Way Not That Way. And The People Started To Leave. And They Wounder Why No One Wants To Be Apart Of The Pto. The Other Sad Thing Is That I Am Apart Of It For My Girls And They Are Only In Preschool. I Have 9 More Years To Deal With This. I Feel That Our Pto Should Of Handled It Differently. And I Don't Want To Be Apart Of A Group If You Feel Like You Can Not Even Trust The People Or If They Are Only Looking Out For Noone But There Self. Thanks For All Your Help.

Unregistered, most of us come in here to learn from the larger parent group community. Sometimes we're surprised by the advice we're given. Know that it comes from our own unique perspectives and how we would handle something should it ever be presented to us.

While none of us know every side of your current situation, I see two red flags in your last post:

I don't think that is fair that I (should) with draw my bid

I would recommend that you focus less on what's 'fair' for you and what is 'best' for the team. Perhaps the team isn't handling the negative fallout as well as they could but digging in your heals because it isn't fair doesn't help. By being gracious and treating them the way you'd like them to treat you is the way to be a bigger person and lead by example.

I had already told the pto that I will let it be known what they did to me.

You've already sided against your team with this statement. What is to be gained by "letting it be known"? You'll be seen as sour grapes and if you're negative enough with your attack will probably turn the tide towards the very team you're trying to tear apart.

This is a tough spot you're in. You can use your disappointment and sense of fairness to change things for the future if you remain on the team, remain postive and encourage everyone to work together so this doesn't happen again. I'm assuming your team has bylaws. There should be a clause explaining the revisions process. Write up an ammendment or policy stating exactly what the bidding process is and who, exactly, can and cannot bid. It won't change things for you but it will show that your team can learn from their mistakes and move forward to make things better for the future.

Ultimately, the whole parent group experience is one long learning process. Many things drive change and the group will succeed if they can grow along with the change. My last team, for example, had a mandatory bylaws review/revision requirement every two years. This prevented the bylaws from becoming stale and forced us to keep up with the growth and changes around us.

I have to agree that the perception seems to be a huge issue, for future bids you may want to withdraw your self from the decision making vote. I guess I would worry that if you were infact at the meeting that maybe they felt uncomfortable discussing it openly with you there, I would! It is a sticky situation when an active volunteer/member does business with the group. I try to discourage it...saves alot of headaches! I am a little confused why you were asked to step down as fundraiser chair person though...why?