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Why Men are not invloved in PTO??

11 years 1 month ago #144613 by kaylacat
Please tell me why men / fathers/ dads/ husbands are not involved in pto and should they be?
11 years 1 month ago #144616 by CrewChief
Second question first ~ YES, they absolutely should be. Just ask Shawn, President Jim, CapeDad, Rockne and the many other men who frequent these boards.

First question ~ Um, a million different reasons. But several of them have been addressed here on the boards. Involving men is an entirely different process than involving women as they are motivated in vastly different ways.

I think Tim even has a few articles in the archives about this very subject.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
11 years 1 month ago #144618 by KTMom2000
We are really lucky at our school to have invovlement on the Board. There are 4 positions and 2 are held by women and 2 are held by men. I really think having the men on the board help get dads to attend our events.
11 years 1 month ago #144642 by PresidentJim
One major issue is that most men think of the PTO as they would the Girl Scouts. Meaning a group that is specifically for women.

When I stepped up to be Vice President 3 years ago, only to find out that the group didn't have a President (meaning that my aspirations to be V.P. quickly became President), there were no other dads actively involved.

Now though we have 4 or 5 very active dads. In fact my Treasurer is a dad, so half of our Exective Committee are males...

For our group I think me being the President (meaning a father and not a mom) is a big reason why other Dads think about getting involved. It's hard for a group to be thought of as a clique or a "women only" group when the President of the group is a man.

So the point there is that getting men involved is a steamrolling thing. Get one actively involved and others will come.

Next is the meetings. As much as others talk about how the meetings aren't that important, I personally disagree. Our monthy meetings is where we discuss our upcoming events, form committees, ask for committee chairs, etc. The problem for most guys here is that while mom is at the meeting, dad has to be at home with the kids. What we started doing at the meetings is providing age appropriate childcare. Truth is that every single one of the very active dads has a wife that is also actively involved, but that's great because it becomes aa family thing, a way of life if you will...

Lastly, and possibly most importantly, we have added numerous activities that seem to be enjoyed by the dads. Some of the ones that I have pushed to add are...

- Golf Tournament Fundraiser - four active dads involved
- Poker Tournament Fundrasiers - three active dads involved
- Harvest Hoopla - One dad acted as our Mad Scientist, another as the Wizard

And this year we just purchased our own DJ equipment (speakers, mixing system, stands, etc.). I have already had two of the active dads approach me about running the system at our first event.

So as CrewChief mentioned, the men seem interested in certain things, but if these things are available they will want to get involved.

One good place where you can try to start is handywork around the school. For example, if you paint the map of the U.S. on the playground, like we did last year, the men like to get involved. I actually had 7 men there, and that was during the Pats game!

PresidentJim
7 years 11 months ago #158932 by briank
The PTO for my daughter's school usually meets at 9 AM right after school starts. Many men are off to work at that time. I'm self employed and have some time flexibility. I was the (entire) directory committee for her school last year (with counter-parts at the district level and other schools within the district).

Our school periodically has evening meetings to try to expand participation, but they have not historically been very well attended.

Sometimes (my daughter and) I bake for bake sales too.

So male participation is not impossible, it's just rare.
7 years 11 months ago #158966 by Rudy
Replied by Rudy on topic Why Men are not invloved in PTO??
From personal experience, one reason males are not as involved with PTO or PTO activities has to do with the cliquishness of board members.
One year I took a day off work to volunteer at my school's year end BBQ. I arrive early, only to be told by the board president that the spot I had signed up for was filled (why wasn't I informed of this earlier?) I get 'assigned' scut work while the board and their favorite people stand in the spotlight. Personally I don't have an issue with scut work. Merely seeing my daughter throughout the entire day and watching her swell with pride because 'Daddy was there' was my personal pay-off.
Lack of communication is an ongoing problem for my school's board, even though the board rotates people in and out, somewhat.

My wife spoke with the president the following fall, since school is out for the summer :) , and the president profusely apologized. My wife stated the board member was apologizing to the wrong person to which the board member responded she would apologize to me for wasting my time.
To this day, I have not heard one word of regret or an apology for the way I was treated. In fact, she goes out of her way to avoid me.
This incident is the most extreme of many such bad encounters.

Now, I just don't bother volunteering, which to me is very sad because I truly wanted to be a part of my daughter's elementary years.
I don't require kudos or recognition...I do require respect for my time and effort.
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