Top 5 Medicines You Wish Existed

Rex Bohn

Parent-group-approved fixes that are good for what ails you.

04/27/2016

1. Milk of Amnesia
Just one sip and you’ll forget all about the unorganized mess of a spaghetti supper you held last week in the cafeteria. Oh, that’s right, you’ve already forgotten....

2. Pepto Biz-all
Do you get queasy when opening up a meeting to new business? No worries! Just chug this chalky remedy and you’ll be feeling better in no time. Don’t forget to wipe off your pink mustache before you leave, though.

3. Benathryl
Are you allergic to long meetings? Can’t keep your eyes open during committee reports? Take one of these and make things a tad more thrilling—at least from your perspective!

4. Exceedrin
Wow! Your fall fundraiser profits exceeded last year’s by 200 percent and you recruited 60 new volunteers. Everything you touch is magic thanks to this little pill!

5. Preparation Y
Properly applied, it helps you answer all the tough questions about your new event idea, the $7 budget discrepancy, and what happened to that ugly centerpiece you tossed out before this year’s auction.

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