I have done the inexuseable act of starting a tiff with one of our other PTO officers. Let me say upfront that I take full responsibilty and am completely in the wrong. I handled being talked about behind my back very poorly. I was hurt and I lashed out at the source. I should have been more mature and ignored it, but I didn't. As a result, that officer is ready to resign. She has every right to be upset with me. I just don't want our school to lose her as a strong leader.

I really want to resolve this issue and have sincerely apologized. I don't know what to do. If anyone has a suggestion, please share it.

We've basically been operating as two PTOs - two old officers and three new ones. We just haven't gelled and there are some strong personality clashes. Things just aren't going as well as we all hoped.

I guess I could really use some suggestions on that, too.

Sounds to me as if the other woman should apologize for getting caught talking about you behind your back. Sounds as if she is embarrased for her actions and now is threatening quitting? Let me know if I have this wrong. I am not one to grovel when I am being talked about...so I think I would have done just as you did. What am I missing? You feel bad because she is threatening to quit?

It sounds like this situation has been brewing for a while and some of the steam just got blown off!

I agree with Disney. I would have gone to the source too. How I chose to approach them would depend on what was being said about me.

So, it's all water over the dam now anyway. Stop beating yourself up. Instead, set a leadership example by setting up a group meeting, perhaps with the principal or other administrator present to act as mediator, and talk about ways to patch things back up and move forward for the school's sake.

Trust me, I have worked with plenty of people that I might normally not have a friendship with. I did, however, find ways to be professional and courteous. We don't have to love each other but we do have to work together and set good examples for our kids.

Considering how remorseful you sound and by how much responsibility you're willing to accept, I'm confident that you will find a way to help your team work things out.

So, the officer gossiped about you then, when confronted, is pulling the martyr act?

You've already apologized for over-reacting. Call her bluff by refusing to
kow-tow any further.

If she brings it up again in ANY way (including her threat to quit), very sincerely respond that she'll have to do what she feels is best. When she feels that she has ground you down satisfactorily enough and has gotten a lot of attention from everyone on the matter, I imagine that she will "graciously" agree to stay on.

Put her in a crate...it's keeping my dogs apart...
(just a little holiday cheer)
d

Only cowards quit! You would have to wonder if any of your members is really there for the kids. We are suppose to be advocates for the kids and the parents who can't or don't feel comfortable speaking. Personalities will clash and I'm really afraid to say but you do have cliques being formed everyday in these groups. What a shame! My advice to you people will forever speak good, bad, and ugly of you. Keep your focus on the real true meaning of why you are really there doing what you do. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY NO MATTER HOW PERSONAL IT GET. WALK AWAY AND CONTINUE TO DO THE GOOD WORK THAT YOU DO AND KEEP SHINING THE LIGHT FOR THE KIDS! We need good parents in these parent groups who will be an example, because some child or someone is always watching you and God Bless!