We have recently had a death of a staff members spouse. Should the PTO do anything for this? Not sure what to do... thanks for any help!

I would put out a card for everyone to sign and then send it with flowers. You could offer help with small children or even take dinner. Get with other staff to see if you could help with dinner for the week. Everything helps just knowing that others are thinking of you is nice. Good luck.

Our PTSO will usually purchase a book for the library and affix a dedication plate in it to honor the spouse (or parent) who passed away and then let the staff member know what we have done in our sympathy card

This is a sticky wicket. Of course you feel compelled to express your compassion to the staff member that has lost his/her spouse. However, once your PTO starts with formally acting on these situations with cards, flowers, or donations to charity ("in memory of....") there is no end. You could find too large a portion of your yearly budget going to recognize staff member's hospital stays, births of babies and grandbabies, flowers for funerals, a family's house fire, a child's serious illness, etc. It'll never end.

And, hard feelings will ensue if one person's circumstances are recognized and another person's aren't. Then, of course, invariably someone will suggest taking up a collection for the person experiencing unfortunate circumstances and who better to organize it than the PTO?

Because most PTO's mission statement focuses on improving student's educational opportunities, you have to ask yourself if making these overtures matches the PTO's purpose and if the school families would approve having their dollars spent in this manner?

Perhaps the better solution would be for the PTO to inform the membership as to these situations so that individuals can decide for themselves how and if they wish to personally respond.

We have a line item in our budget for sympathy gifts. We usually send a food item to the house, or flowers to the services.

Unfortunately we had this last year when one of our teachers lost her husband in the plane crash we had here in Buffalo. We dedicated a tree in his honor. It helped the school, but also reconginized her husband. It was very sweet the students had a ceremony and released balloons. The teacher was very touched.

We also have this allocated in our budget also. I believe we set aside $300.00 for these kind of circustances and our sunshine committee when the kids are out for tonsils or surgeries that kind of thing.