You should ask to meet her to chat about the upcoming year over coffee or something (no kids). Tell her you want to be on the same page and go over the plans for the year. Then, after having a productive "meeting", you need to tell her how you felt. Her input made you feel "put aside" and as if you lost control over the meeting. You want the other members of the PTO to acknowledge and respect your position as President as they did when she held the position, so you would appreciate if she let you run the meetings going forward.
I don't think she could take offense to any of it since you are only asking for the same treatment she received last year. It is also extremely important to stick to the agenda so that the meetings do not run over and to the point that attendees feel they don't have that much time to attend. Since roping in a few of our talkers, our meetings were reduced from 2.5 hrs to 1.5 which our Principal, teacher representatives and some parents were thrilled about.
I had a runaway talker at my first meeting last year as well. She had input in EVERYTHING and every topic she had to comment on and then steer into her personal direction. I was shocked and didn't know how to fix it.
The next meeting when it started I interupted her, apologized for interupting her but reminded her that there was a time for misc. topics not on the agenda already and we would be sure to get back to her at the end of the meeting.
SHE was shocked but it only took that one time. When it came to the portion of the meeting for miscellaneous topics she just didn't have anything to add.
After the meeting several people privately came up to me and told me they were relieved I had shut her down because they couldn't handle all the stuff she was saying at the wrong time.
That was really when I was able to assert my leadership and authority at the meeting and in the long run she really needed a place to express herself but needed the guidance.
I had an agenda and the first item was introducing the new board members for the year. I even verbally introduced myself as President. It was kind of hard to stick to the agenda I had because there were a couple of items that she was handling and then she just wouldn't stop talking. At one point she even gave a little spiel about what the PTA does and that we are not all about fundraising and volunteering, etc, etc, etc. She just went right into that from a completely different topic... she was supposed to be talking about what we have planned for Homecoming and getting volunteers lined up to help out.
Thank you for your suggestions. I really liked the one about when I am talking to the Principal. Hopefully she will get the point.
Well, first off I can see how this would be very upsetting. Hopefully she only did this hoping to help you transition into your new position (though it kind of sounds otherwise).
If she doesn't back off you definitely need to take control.
Here's some quick questions...
- did you write up and hand out agendas for the meeting?
- Did you start off your meeting with : Welcome/Introduction: PTO President...?
That's the first item on my monthly agendas and would ensure that you start off with control.
If you did these things noted above, and tried to stick to the agenda, yet she kept piping in then you need to take it to the next level.
For now I would recommend trying not to have to take it to the level of having to have "the talk". She sounds as though she is a very valuable resource and is very involved. She is the V.P., but that job should be to help you as you see fit, not the other way around.
If this was happening to me I would use my agenda to control the meeting. If she tried to "take over" I would reign things in.
In regards to your discussion with the Principal, I think when (not if) it happens again that you should cut the conversation right then and there. Make it blunt so that she might get the point without being too offended. State to the Principal the moment she comes up "Is it possible that we can discuss this at another time".
Hopefully sooner or later she'll get the point. But your best bet for the meeting is using that Agenda and taking back control.
I need help. I have been heavily involved in our school's PTA for several years. Our immediate past president (whose oldest child is in 1st grade) is now our VP. I am president this year and was VP last year. So essencially what happened was, we switched roles from last year to this year. Here is my problem... last night was our first meeting of the new school year and she completely took over the meeting. I was at a loss as to what to do at the time. I kept hoping that she would just shut up and let me speak. She did not run for President again this year because she said she was tired of all the responsibility but now she won't back off. I am so ticked off I can barely contain myself. After the meeting I had planned to speak with our principal about a few item that really didn't need to be addressed during the meeting and she stood there the whole time and put in her 2 cents on every topic. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can handle this next month if she takes over again ?
