I am a member of a PTO and currently a board member. The one thing that I would stress is speaking to the person that you are having a problem with directly. I have been the "victim" of people who have bad feelings about things that are going on and how things are being handled. These members, with their "helpful" suggestions wait until the meeting when there are twenty other people in the room to bring these suggestions to the table and some people, who are not "people persons" have a not so nice way of doing so. I think that some people have no idea how much work is involved in being a board member and don't care to either but love to sit on the sidelines and criticize. These are the same people (in our group anyway) who don't show up to help with events. They come up with excuses at the last minute not to be there. We just had an event that coincided with a school event and guess who our volunteers were...the president, vice president and treasurer.
Anyway, please try to remember that your board members all have telephones and would probably be glad to hear you out if you would just give them a chance outside of the meeting. We would LOVE to have more help and input and are open to it - we just don't like being blindsided at meetings.
Have you tried approaching her with gratitude and kindness? Asking her if you can help her? I'm a PTO president. It's a large job and a time-consuming volunteer commitment. I celebrate the good times and try to bear the bad times with grace and humor. I'm working hard to change attitudes by modeling the behavior I want to see. I say "thank you" whenever possible. I routinely email chairs and board members about the good job they are doing and let them know they are appreciated. I encourage them to do the same for parents that volunteer. We established a protocol for how and when to thank parent volunteers. (Although I wish we didn't need a protocol, apparently we did!)
When people feel appreciated, they are more likely to be open to constructive criticism.
You might also want to suggest that your president find a sympathetic ear outside the volunteer and parent communities. The job can be hard and by suggesting an appropriate venue for her negativity, she might ease up on her criticism inside the community as well as get some helpful feedback.
It takes two to tango, and if the president is negative and not welcoming new parents then I say it's time for new elections. We can't change people's attitudes but we can change the direction a PTO is heading.
We are having the same issue in our school. Not everyone is open to constructive critisim. When we approach our President with ideas she didn't take it nicely. In fact, after giving us, "new parents" the impression that she is open to new ideas, it came flat back and formed negative and gossip "cliques." As a result our PTO is a mess. Although new parents are trying to maintain neutral gatekeepers, these cliques seem to continue their gossip and negative remarks towards us new parents.
It's challenging but at the end of the day someone needs to show the current PTO leaders that we new parents are willing to work together and will continue to chanllenge them if that may be the case. Until we accomplish a successful PTO. OUr goal is to welcome everyone, new and returning parents. And to make everyone feel important just as we all feel our children's education is important. It takes a team to build a committee, and a committee to build strong relationships.
If your PTO Executive Board is negative, buy yourself the Roberts Rules of Orders and follow the guidelines and you will have a successful PTO. But remember, it's a challenge! Don't give up! We need positive leaders to lead!
I'm presently the PTO President and I try to listen to all concerns & complaints and act on them as best I can. I've had some problems a few years ago with 2 board members. One just couldn't handle the job, there were personal issues and as much as I wanted her to stay on, I knew she wasn't ready to handle anything. I spoke with her one-on-one and voiced my opinion and she agreed that this was not the time to get involved with the PTO Executive Board. Another person was so gung-ho about joining but when she had to get volunteers and no one was able to help, she started e-mailing everyone on the board and did some bashing of others. I nipped that in the bud saying that I appreciated everyone helping out on the Executive Board but that if there were any e-mails to go out they should go directly to me so I can figure out a solution. I want to run the PTO as efficiently as possible, but honestly, I don't have time for any kid's games. I guess it's worked or no one wants this position because I've been the President for 5 years (and the Treasurer for 1 year.
I am currently the PTO President at my son’s school. If I were approached by a parent with a concern, I would listen. However, I think it would be a more succesful converstion if the parent was being constructive rather than insulting my character. I would also also appreciate it if the person came with ideas and solutions, not just critiques. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
I really feel for you and we have had this issue at my sons school for several years in the past. We have had presidents that treated parents like dirt except for when they wanted something donated, fundraiser items sold, or needed someone to do the grunt work they felt was beneth them. Bringing this topic up for dicussion can be quite tricky.
That is why I suggest you do not point this out in the middle of a PTO meeting. Even if you do not single a person out by name most will still know who the pink elephant is in the room so to speak.
You are better off to try speaking to her in private or with a third party who would be non judgement on either side of the issue ( maybe the principal or a teacher would set down with you).
Don't point out all that she dose wrong tell her you would really like to help her get more volunteers and that you think or that parents have told you that if they felt more welcome they would. Adviser her that all parents have something to offer the school and that the PTO should be grateful for the help and not overly critical.
If she is voicing her opinion about and saying rude or nasty remarkes about parents not helping or being overly critical on the ones that do then that needs to stop asap. She should be told that behavior like that is unacceptable. Any PTO officer should conduct themselves with the highest level of professional conduct at all school functions and meetings. This also sets a bad example for the kids. It sends them a message that it is ok to be rude and ungreatful. Explain that if she has an issue with one volunteer or instructions not being followed, then she needs to speak with that person in private or explain what she wants done and how(in a professsional manner). It is her job to be sure every volunteer understands what is expected. If you are not clear on what and how then you only have yourself to blame. Try to look at some of the issues from her point of view. Matbe she is just nervous about taking on such a big job or she just may not have great people skills . I know that is no excuse for bad behavior but doing so may help you out when you speak with her.
Best of luck and let us know what happens.
