Recently, a PTO leader contacted us to ask how she could stop people-pleasing and better handle complainers and gossips in her group. We posted her question on our Facebook page, and not surprisingly, our online community rallied to support this leader and offer some great advice. We think this will inspire all our readers:

 Can't make everyone happy. 

Don’t stress out!! You will never make everyone happy. You do what you think is right for your group and the students. —Michelle A.

 Address issues head on.

I have found myself in the same situation [with complainers] recently. As I started addressing it head on, I have found that people don’t understand how a PTO works. So I have started really educating people, not just giving them short answers . —Beth S.

 Let it go.

First, you cannot please everyone. Let that go, and be satisfied knowing that you do your best for your organization and the school you support. —Amanda T.

 Get parents engaged.

I think information is key to a parent feeling engaged. When they are engaged, they are less likely to complain. Figure out the best way(s) to communicate—monthly newsletter, website announcements, etc. Be consistent and thorough. —Merryl C.

 Promote respect.

If the gossip or negativity is coming from one of your own board members, it needs to be addressed. The goal of the board should be unifying parents and school. As a board, we do not have to agree on everything, but there should be mutual respect. —Karen S.

 Build things up.

As for the gossip and conflict, the best thing is make sure you stay out of it and if they do bring it to you, remind them in a loving way that the group’s purpose is to build things up, not tear things down. —Yvonne M.

 Welcome complainers.

When and if a parent has a negative comment, we all say very calmly and respectfully with a smile, “You are more than welcome to come to our next PTA meeting and join the discussion of how to make our efforts better.” It curbs the negativity and they know we will not feed into the drama. —Danica Stetler

 Stay focused.

Just do your best, steer clear of the gossip, and keep focused on the goal. —Jaime Z.

 Respond to problems.

Take input graciously from everyone who has it to give. Answer people’s questions and attend to problems in as timely a way as possible. Give complainers a job. This helps people have ownership. Have fun and keep it positive!! —Mandy M.

 Take feedback seriously.

My motto is a bit different: I know I can’t please everyone but that doesn’t stop me from trying! Take feedback seriously. Change what you can to improve whatever the complaint was about. You will know when it is just mean gossip or whether there is truly a way to make things work a bit more cohesively. —Stacie M.

 Know you tried your best.

By people-pleasing and interacting with gossipers, it sidetracks you from the real focus which is the students. Just do what needs to get done, give it your 100% and be happy you tried your best regardless of what anyone thinks. —Kristin F.

 Make it official.

Ask them to write it down as an official grievance and tell them you’d be happy to address the situation [with] the board. I find the talking stops when you give them an “official” opportunity to complain because it’s really not worth the effort for them. —Lacy D.

 Move on.

Take it with a grain of salt, consider, accept or reject...and ultimately move on. Can’t please everybody. —Sarah W.