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PTO member causing trouble for incoming board

17 years 1 month ago #133760 by CLL40

beignets;133748 wrote: Our bylaws have a clause that no board member can be elected more than 2 terms....each term is that keeps such situations a bit at bay.

Maybe I should re-write the by-laws before my term is up;)

Actually, with ours, you can't hold the same position for more than two years, but you can be on the board in rotating positions for however long you want. I almost think being on the board for more than 2 years in ANY position should be a limit (says the person about to enter her 5th year on the board). Ditto with chairing an event. . .
17 years 1 month ago #133749 by beignets
CLL - dont know if i posted this on your thread or elsewhere,,,,excuse me if its a repeat....its called relational agression, what i think you mean. it IS classic bullying, done mostly (but not exclusively) by women/girls.

When people say BULLY they useually think of boys pushing other boys around and all that. These days, that still exists of course, but the female variety of bullying is the alliance building, excluding of certain girls, typical clique behavior, gossiping and all that verball type of bullying, and it sounds like that maybe is what is going on. Surf the term relational agression and you will learn all about it!

Of course in todays world, the new territory is cyber bullying (also happens to adults)...the email/imsg variety...soemetimes the gossip goes via cyberspace and not note passing in the classroom anymore!
17 years 1 month ago #133748 by beignets
Our bylaws have a clause that no board member can be elected more than 2 terms....each term is that keeps such situations a bit at bay.
I guess its hard to change bylaws, when the ones on 'board' running the show, like to misuse their position as it sounds that person is doing.
Maybe their kids will soon be out of that school, and if not, the only way to get change going is to propose amendment to bylaw limiting the term for officers, getting like minded parents together to make the vote go forward, and let the majority have thier voices heard. It seems very unusual that this has not happened ....officerchange, i mean, if there are many parents that feel the same as you.
17 years 1 month ago #133746 by CLL40

The problem is one has been on the board for nearly 9 years and has positioned herself as an MVP, while terrorizing others and keeping them away--then making constant comments about "I don't see anyone else here. . where are all these people?" She played everyone well for years. . but I suspect it's been a bully situation that's gone unchecked, because no one ever expected someone who was a bully to be part of the core of volunteers. And in reading the links beignets posted. .I've identified where these behaviors are and am sending the link to the administration because I want this resolved. I was just talking to someone at school and told them I never connected their behavior with bullying because it wasn't the classic bullying I was used to--but this is bullying. . and now, I have documented information to bring that forward.

Ignoring bullies doesn't make them go away. . that's bad advice for kids and adults. This isn't like the one or two parents who run their mouths at meetings and act clueless, but they have the school's best interest at heart--this is true bullying. .it needs to end.
17 years 1 month ago #133731 by WFS
CLL40, I haven't read the entire thread, but can't the Board keep these women out of being involved in any events? Our Executive Board must select our chairpersons that will run our events. Those Chairpersons select the volunteers from the list we obtain from our membership interest form. If we had these women in our school, it would be easy to keep them from running or volunteering on any PTO event. Of course, I'm sure they would attend with their children, but we could tune them out and ignore any disparaging remarks they made and chalk it up to insanity and/or bullying.

I'm not clear as to why these women have been allowed to stay involved in your parent group when its apparent that you have lost involvement of the other parents due to them?

Making a positive difference one project at a time <img src=images/smilies/smile.gif>
17 years 1 month ago #133712 by CLL40

beignets;133710 wrote: One would think that at a parochial schooll, adults would have more ethics than some of the actions you have described.

Yeah--someone once said that people send their kids to religious schools because they have no morals of their own.

I actually went on to the bullying site and recognized one member's traits exactly (The Attention-Seeker). I plan to forward that site to those in administration to show them that this is similar to bullying by children and that the victims as adults are just as stressed by it. Maybe that will be the wake up call.

As far as switching--I'm not overly impressed with the public schools in the area. Nor am I unhappy with my children's education at this school--which is why they are still there--in fact, the children bullying issue at the public schools in our area is far more out of control, which is why I have no intention to send them elsewhere.
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