Tim/Rockne, your points are all well taken.

I could swallow all of the above IF wlovelace had been invited for a personal chat with the head of school or whoever gave her the boot -- that is utterly unfair to anyone, to not get the FACTS firsthand but to listen to hearsay (if I understood correctly) and fairness and treating people with respect, civility and decency is part of what America is all about.

Even the meanest criminals, get their 'day in court', or chance to be heard,,,,wlovelace, from her description, didnt even get a chance to tell her side.

Anyway, thanks for these boards, they are great vicarious learning experinces!!! lots of smart minds that are willing to share.

Originally posted by <a OK>:


AHA!! wlovelace.....seems you were the object of personal politics, they love ya for being a worker bee, but just dont want you on the board!! It doesnt add up, does it, and theyve shown themselves to be less than honorbale by that action alone.

Just FYI. I don't necessarily agree with this. Let's remember we're only getting one side of this story.

And I think the fact that you're participation is still welcomed can be construed another way. A really harsh assessment of the actions that night may have had folks saying: "we don't want that person around at all. She's unwelcome."

Instead, it sounds like group leaders here perhaps decided: "We know wlovelace is a good person at heart who just made a mistake. For the good of our grouop (and maybe for the good of wlovelace), perhaps president isn't the right role at this point. But let's make sure Mary knows she's still more than welcome to be a part of the group."

While my scenario may be too far on the rose-colored-glasses side, assuming that these other leaders had nefarious intent is equally too far on the pessimistic side.

To repeat from an earlier post, I hope wlovelace will see the big picture that being president isn't the end-all be-all and that involvement is still really important.

Good luck,

Tim

"The finniest part of all of this is that the PRESIDENT whom motioned my removal told me that i have just lost that title and can continue doind BOX TOPS, LABELS, SOX TOPS, AND EVERYTHING ELSE I DID BEFORE I WAS NOMINATED FOR CO-PRESIDENT."

AHA!! wlovelace.....seems you were the object of personal politics, they love ya for being a worker bee, but just dont want you on the board!! It doesnt add up, does it, and theyve shown themselves to be less than honorbale by that action alone.

I suspected there was more behind the story. There usually is.

Anyway, I do apologize for using the word stupid in an earlier post, one cannot fault someone for how they FEEL. (actions are another thing but I cant know them I wasnt there).

Anywya, seems like youve uncovered the admin and the PTOA leaderships true style and motives, and thats worth somthing.

Good luck.

Well, 1st of all i would like to thank all of you for your thoughts on this. While reading what was written i had my "WHAT!" times and my "YES!" times. I would like it known that i did formally apologize for my actions-(not my words) at the meeting, to both the other exec. board members and the Principal also. I did not apologize for the words because I would react the same if it happened all over.
The PTO board whom voted i be removed "was so destraugt by my reaction they had an awful weekend". The funny part is, i slept fine that night, my weekend went well, my actions altough not one of my best moments were in my opinion warrented. I did make my peace with that mother and her husband and we all agreed in each instance our reactions were out of line but we understood why they happend.
All PTO meetings we have any children that go usually stay in the gym or on the playground with all the other children. (usually ages 15-7) No babysitter has been provided this year but should be. I guess that is something they should take care of considering the children do not get along at every meeting.
Listen i just want you all to know that I have been through this in my head over and over. Do i feel i was removed as co-pres. for the wrong reason yes. I cannot even look at it from any of thier pt of views and agree with what they did. I have tried honestly to look at it without my personal feelings and i can not find my removal with good reason. I guess i just wanted to find out others oppinons and suggestions. All of them were helpful i dont feel i left anything out. The finniest part of all of this is that the PRESIDENT whom motioned my removal told me that i have just lost that title and can continue doind BOX TOPS, LABELS, SOX TOPS, AND EVERYTHING ELSE I DID BEFORE I WAS NOMINATED FOR CO-PRESIDENT. (help with fundraisers, santa shop, all pto events for the year, dances, sending out flyers, printing, well the list goes on.)I guess my outburst did not hurt my position as mule for what she can't do. and to pick up the slack for everyone. I am trying very hard to swallow my pride i love to help but i now feel as though i am good enough to be in the background. Thanks for the good information and the honest opinions. wlovelace

wlovelace, new day, new thought, i reserve the right to change my opinion at any time ref my previous posts -- it is probably a mountain out of a molehill to expect a change in bylaws (or to pursue your matter with RRO etc) to cover such one off occureences, or even initiate codes of conduct (becaues common sense should prevail, one would think).

I do not even care to read the above listed specifics of what you did and why you did it. It is IMMATERIAL.

Here is what i think is bad about your situation when i step back and just look at the big picture, (ie you did something which caused your peers and principal to kick you out): You said " PTO however not even knowing why i was so angry met with the Principal of our school and determined that i should be removed from PTO."

That shows the true color of your school leader.

What your leader should have done, is invite you to the dicussion (see how Crew Chief solved her recent problems,,in another thread,,,by offering to meet privately w the head of school and other PTO parties to iron out the issue) and ask you politely in person, to step down.

NO big fanfare about rules regs and laws and due proces,, how about jsut a cordial meeting, calm discussoion of events, the principal can express dismay at what happened, make sure the facts are as presented to her by the others, by VERIFING them with you directly. ANd then i am sure if presented correectly, and her reasons given for her wish to have you off the board, you would have done what was reasonable, acceptable, and face saving for all, step down.

But to out you in small session behind your back...well that is just no way for a principal to act. What did she base her decision on? The word of the other PTO officers that wanted to boot you? How did she know their story was accurate? Does anyone remember Salem?

ANywya., hope you got over it and the others too. There are many things a PTO should do, and quabble for eons over such spats is not one of them, imho.

The first post above is an excellent example of

1)why kids should not be left unsupervised (it doesnt state the ages of the kids in the story,but if they are too young to stay home alone and must tagalong to PTO meetings with the parent,they are too young to play unsupervised as the events showed --get a girl scout to babysit during meetings, she can earn a badge)

AND

2)why PTOA meetings need a strong leadership.

It is clear there was NO person in authority at the meeting,and it was allowed to get out of hand. Where was the other co-president? why did they not interevene with a cool head?
Where was the Principal, if she sits in at meetings, Where was a true leader, peacemaker, mediator, common sense person that gets respect from her followers and prevents such antics from happening in the first place?

From the littel that has been said, seems like it was a meeting without true leadership present, or very weak leadership that did not step up to the task at hand and resolve the issue then and there, in the heat of the moment so to speak.