Thanks Slick..

In response to your questions---first, they are not getting a new site to themselves--apparently when the old principal (THANK GOD SHE IS GONE) told the pastor about it, she neglected to mention a new site--tried to sneak it in. He was totally against that. And after some round and round with me about giving them access to the site to do their own pages--to which my answer was they can HAPPILY provide all the content they want--however they want it to look, but you can't have two webmasters. The technology advisor backed me on all of it so now, the paid fundraiser needs to get with me to work out a way for her to send me what the want for their section--and I'll put it on pages, link it up and no questions asked. Which is what I had been RECOMMENDING all summer and was blown off by former principal. In fact, after that meeting when they ripped me for not having a good PTO site (we really call it HSA at our school)---I told her I had asked them REPEATEDLY for what they want and was blown off. Her terse response: "You get it like the rest of the parents, what makes you think you should have your own advanced copy?" Um, because I am the school webmaster, that's why. I could go into a litany of what this woman said at the end about a lot of things, which I've only shared with a few confidantes since she had most of the people fooled most of the time.

The biggest obstacle was the old principal. She was only there for a year, but she gave away the farm to the PTO presidents this year and last year because she LOVED how ambitious they are. (She also loved that they didn't care for her predecessor and hated that I worked well with that person and wouldn't let anyone talk trash about her around me). Our pastor liked this PTO guy, too--but other things have happened that have led him to question whether or not this guy is getting too big for his britches. The email campaign and private meeting with the superindendent (which apparently the super didn't care for either), was a bad start.

I'm not a "this is the way it's been done person." In fact, when I was president I shook a lot of things up myself---for the better of the school. But I did it in a collaborative manner. I worked with the other parent volunteers to improve things, got feedback, tried to make things stronger. I had a tough as nails year because of things that I had no control over (some personality drama that was taking place outside the school but was happening with board members), but in the end--we led not by elevating ourselves as better than the other parents, but by being humble and recognizing that it was the volunteers---not us as HSA presidents--that made the difference. This guy---he won't deign himself to deal with volunteers---he has his paid person (which I agreed we needed a pro-fundraiser--but for the school to be able to capitalize on what the diocese required from development, not put the burden/power in HSA's hand), and his staff from his own company doing things. Parent volunteers are just mindless resources to him.

I was willing in the beginning to work with him collabortively--but every time we're in a room, he reminds people that he only wants to work with people he can direct. He's sneaky, underhanded, and not to be trusted. I wonder what else he's up to. People think he's "funny" and "wonderful"--but he makes inappropriate comments that are very unprofessional--like to an 8th grade student fundraising for the class trip working concessions at the play that Kingpin's dad, of course, was the "star". "So there---is it one for cash box, one for you?" (smirk). The teacher advisor laughed at him and said "of course not." I looked right at him and said, "Interesting thought coming out of the mouth of the future HSA president."

He also made a comment to me about the fact that I was tasked (and had begged for years to get out of) recording the family fundraising activity (we have a fundraising mandate). I told him whoever he hired could gladly do that--I don't think a parent should have all the knowledge and pressure I've had to live with for years feeling like a bill collector on that. His comment: "ya, you've become the mandate nazi" Oh. No. He. Didn't. I was upset. Told his wife that one casually and her response was, "I'm sure if my husband said that, it was in a loving way." Not a chance sister....

I meet in a week with the new principal to go over what I do, and how it's been done. The agreement is I do all of the school stuff---he does his stuff, but there is one site. This battle has been won, but not sure how long the war is going to last. I don't trust this bozo---at all.

First let me say that the guy shouldnt be a jacka.....well you get the point. I have a couple of things here, both good and bad. If you are not "working" for the PTO why does it matter what you do?? You keep doing your thing and let them do theirs. Our school has a website and our PTSO has a website. So you ask why? Well the school site has to be hosted by our local and state BOE and has some restrictions about what can and cant be put on the site. Our site is ours and has no restrictions. Like recently, we did a tshirt fund raiser and we put in on our website. The school couldnt put it on their site because all fund raisers done by the school must get BOE approval. So you keep your site and if he wants to do his site let him.

Now some of the bad. Have you gave the change a chance?? A lot of people have a problem with change. "We have always done it this way" Well does that mean its the best way to do it?? No. Just means no one has ever tried to change it. People get some caught in "we've always done it like this" they never think outside the box and dont wanna realize that there may be a better way to do thing. If things dont work they will start to show. This my first year as persident and we have made some changes. One parent was shocked they we arent doin an auction this year. But she quickly moved on after we calmly explained why. I am guessing if he had been nicer to you, you wouldnt have such a big problem with him. But at the end of the year i will learn what worked and and what didnt. If changes need to be made along the way we will make them.

I need some advice and I don't know where else to turn. I'm a long time volunteer in my childrens' private school. I've been a mainstay in some key areas, both inside and outside of the PTO group--in fact, since we've had four principal changes in the last 6 years, I probably know more than most of the people at the helm. I've been through the development training, all sorts of training. . and now, my roles in the school are being phased out by a new kingpin president who convinced the finance committee to let him hire a professional fundraiser, who is now assuming a lot of what I once volunteered to do. This man has made disparaging remarks about my work before (I manage some key areas in marketing in the school as a professional "time donation") that the outgoing principal says I'm being "too sensitive" and "defensive" about.

Right before he started, he asked me what I was doing for the school this year. I told him I was continuing on with what I do for the SCHOOL---which is not associated with PTO, therefore not under his umbrella. He kept trying to get me to give up the website and called the school website "average" because he wants his personal company to take it over so he can create it based on HIS vision, not what my husband and I created based on years of interviews with parents, teachers, perspective parents, etc. ..

Today he informs me that with his new hire--he and she are going to start their own website just for the PTO since our school one "isn't making a big enough deal about it" Um--first, this no one has sent me a thing on it or sent me info--the guy hasn't even told the parents what fundraisers count toward their obligation. His answer is that I don't work for him and the fundraiser does, so he wants to direct what she does. I was LIVID--I tried to explain that from a school perspective, it's competing sites, but he made some more negative comments about the one I run. This is in front of the new principal I had just met and the old principal who ADORES the PTO president---like let's him do whatever he wants. She knows I'm angry but says "oh--he didn't mean it like that." Yes. He. Did. The guy doesn't like that I won't work as HIS employee, and he said RIGHT IN THE MEETING: "I want to control it. I can't yell at you if you don't do what I want."

We left the meeting with "divisions"--I'm going to do what I do for the school, he and his fundraiser will do what they want. And of course, I left so ANGRY that I ended up in tears when I got to my car and my husband ended up calling our pastor (Catholic school) and telling him to make this guy back off. The pastor said he never agreed to a second site, and just do what I'm doing. But the current principal covers saying "it's her, he's fine" and the new principal has only been there for two days, so...

This PTO president has a history of overstepping his bounds--in the summer, he was put on the new principal search committee by the current principal. And two weeks in to the search, he started an email campaign to keep the current principal part time (she's retiring)--because there "weren't qualified candidates". Total bunk as I found out, but it put the seed of doubt in the parents' heads. He called a private meeting with the diocese superintendent to try to persuade her--thankfully, she didn't agree to a part time deal (actually, I was opposed to the idea and would have fought it myself).

I've put so many years, hours into this school to listen to him say "I'm going to do all of this BETTER than you." I know my husband and I when we were PTO presidents were ambitious, too---but not to the extent this guy is and certainly not to the point of treating someone like this.

The current principal and I had harsh words of this--she said that it's my "feelings" only--no one else feels that way. Bull---the first meeting this guy spoke at, one person said he sounds like a snake oil salesman looking to create his fifedom. I told her to quit psycho analyzing me and realize that I'm coming to her with this info vs. gossiping in the parking lot. But she thinks he's "wonderful".

Right now, I'm nursing some serious wounds, wondering if I'll continue to do ANYTHING at the school. I'm hoping the pastor reads my emails as to what was said in the meeting. Please give me something to make me feel better about this.