New Prez-
So much to say, hope it doesn't come out wrong but here goes.
First, stop beating yourself up with the touchy feely stuff. Just let that go completely.
Next - Presiding over a PTO is making sure all runs smoothly for others, not doing it all yourself. You are a mediator and a member ex. officio of all commmittees, that does not mean you must micro manage each of them. Just like in business, get key people (begging is not beneath a president either)in place and let them run with their committees.
Co-Presidenting is an excellent suggestion. If you are overwhelmed, find someone you can work with and share the workload.
Ladies who lunch but can't volunteer- if misery loves company, join the crowd. These woman are the first to assign blame and cite failure but don't you DARE ask them for help. Nothing you can do with them but smile and move on. 80% of work done by 20% of workforce. True in business and the volunteer world alike.
I have always worked full time. I don't know any other way. I have held many board positions as well as done chaired various committees.
It can be done and done well, you just need to know when to ask for help and when to scream for it.

I agree with many of the replies here. The secret to being able to be a president and work full time is to have a great group for your board and volunteers. I have been a PTA president at the elementary and middle school levels for a total of 5 years and am currently the county president for a council of 18 schools...plus work more than full time. I think that is an important message I give in itself that I can (somehow) manage to invest that much of my free time into volunteering for our schools and children. Also, I also think it is just as good not to have a superhuman president who handles everything (it makes for some mighty big shoes to fill and will intimidate future prospects) The goal is to have "many hands do the work" so recruit, delegate, empower and trust. How lucky that the PTO has a president with such a strong legal background to help follow all the rules too! And, also, continue to use this avenue and just ask. I don't know how PTOs and PTAs managed without the internet! Good luck!

I do not work full time per say. I work every chance I get called as a sub aide, cook, and after fall break..teacher. I have classes two days a week. On Tuesdays I do not get out of class until 8:00. I do not live close to our school so I can't run up there everyday that I am not working to do things because I have a gas hog and we all know about ga$. I tried to make it clear that PTO would have to come after family, classes, and work. If they don't understand they can vote me out.

I am having a hard time finding parents that want to be involved at this level. Alot of our parents do work now that their children are older. I have put a few things together but I pretty much feel the biggest thing I do is the web page and newsletter. We did get to have our first sno cone day ever at this school the day before fall break began. I did have some volunteers to show, thank heavens, because my oldest child was sick and I couldn't leave home after I took him to the dr. When I called to give my directions and support the cirriculum coord. and FRC coorid. already had everything set up and ready to go. I was guilt riddled at first but I got over it quick. I am one person and I cannot do everything. I will continue to do my best and beg for help.

My fundraising chair is doing an excellent job with that. She can meet with everyone when I can't and she keeps me informed. In fact we are starting our big fundraiser in a few weeks. I am not looking forward to that. I don't know what I'd do without her. My VP and secretary also work full time. The treasurer is a teacher so her time limited as well.

I was going to run for pres at the elementary last year but as soon as I announced the pres decided she would run again and I was told I couldn't win against her. I digressed. Glad I did, she is doing a good job and I couldn't have put all I would want into it. Most of the time I am wishing I hadn't of even took this position. I was pres at the elementary for two years. It was time consuming but it can be done if you work. The lady that was pres when my oldest son started pre-k worked full time and the PTO ran very smoothly.

Don't be shy to ask for help. Just make sure the one helping knows what to do. So many people would rather be asked and feel more comfortable when they are given guidelines and directions. Does your group know how lucky they are to have an atty. on board? LOL! Several times I've wished I had one handy to make sure we were going in the right direction with all that legal jargon.

I'm in your shoes -- lawyer with a full time job and a new position as co-chair of our parent group. If I were you, I would say at the next meeting (or maybe call someone directly and say) I know that many people really valued some of the day time social events. Would someone (or would you) like to be in charge of arranging a few of them each year? And also include one or two after-hours events as well for working parents -- maybe a wine/hor's d'oevers hour at a local restaruant, or a pub night for adults, or something.

Personally, my attitude is that if there isn't any volunteer energy to do the work, then the community doesn't actually value the activity, despite whatever people say to the contrary.

Whoever posted earlier that the chair's job is to get things done, but not do them herself, is just exactly what I believe.

The only time our group had trouble with a president who worked full-time was when she took over the position saying she was going to be available certain times and wasn't. But her attitude chased most people off. Then she complained when she wanted the stay at home moms to drop everything to go to the school and take care of stuff when she couldn't get away from work and they couldn't because they needed more than a moments notice. Well, she wasn't a nice person, so no matter what she worked, we probably would have had issues.
If most parents in your school work and a lot of your activities are scheduled (or volunteers for those activities are scheduled) around that idea, you shouldn't have a problem.
Don't let anyone fool you, it's just as easy to do stuff for teachers in the evening and weekend time as it is during the day, but this way, you actually get to see them, not see them as they are running back to their class.

Thank you all so much. I was really feeling down and I feel "empowered" by your advice, and your ideas, as well as your stories.

I took heart and when I was at school today started a conversation with another working mom who also volunteers alot. She thought the ideas about changing the culture and perceptions was a great idea toward getting more people involved. We decided to have a town meeting once I have met with the Exec Board so that we could start brainstorming on ways to make PTO more "user friendly" so people aren't afraid to volunteer for fear of being sucked into the "vortex"

One of the things she said, was that she had held back from doing some stuff b/c last year a teacher appreciation luncheon was held and real silverware was required and the dinner was so fancy that it was almost inedible. People lived like that in our mother's day, but not so much now are we locked into the punch bowl and dishes that cannot be thrown away? That is the culture problem disconnect.

Thanks for helping me see what I need to work on.