Jewel, no, they are not board members. So, I guess they are technically "parent volunteers." Although I thought what separated parent volunteers from PTO was that PTO Members helped coordinate events and worked throughout the event to make sure everything runs smoothly. Parent volunteers are the parents that don't necessarily have time to be part of the planning stages, but are involved at their child's school by giving their time to help during school events. As I said, we are not a large school. Thirty of our 166 students are bused in from other districts because we are the Special Education seat for the county. So really, I am working with only 136 sets of parents because out of district parents tend not to be as involved.

Until this year we did not even have a board. We were merely a group of 3-4 parents who met once a month - more often if there was an event - and we were lead by the principal. There was no board, no majority, no agendas. It was just 3-4 woman who wanted to make a difference at our school for ALL the children and for the faculty and staff. We ALL worked to pull off events. I have spoken with two trusted friends of previous PTOs and asked for their advice and they really didn't know what to tell me. It has always been that if you were in PTO, you worked the events. If you had a spare moment when things slowed down, then you grabbed some time with your children.

This year, we implemented an executive board and are working to make this a more formal PTO. Although these women are not on the board, they are part of the body, and are coordinators in their own right for their own events. I cannot imagine leaving them "twisting in the wind" if they were in the same predicament.

DLF and desert, This is an annual event where we have Back2School Night coupled with the book fair and a "meal" (Maid Rite or a hot dog with baked beans, potato chips, and a beverage). It has "always" been done this way and the community expects it. I'm new to this area and even after two years, I still get the "Its always been done this way." People here do not take well to change. LOL It is very frustrating to me that I may have to scale back a time-honored event because I can't get the volunteers I need. I feel that in this situation, I should be able to call on PTO Members to fill in the gaps until we can get a parent volunteer base built back up. Isn't that being on the PTO is about? Parents stepping forward for the betterment of our children's school by putting on events, showing our appreciation to teachers and staff, and raising funds to supplement district funding?!

The thing is, these women are so up in arms because the district cut our funding for field trips due to gas prices. They want to raise money so their children can have the same opportunities for learning outside of the classroom that we had growing up. Don't they understand that events such as these are WHY the PTO is able to give the teachers money for field trips?! That's why it is so important that we work together on this to make it a success.

I can't cut back on the meal because that is where we earn our money. The profit from the book fair is given to us in books. More bang for your buck that way. That's why I need volunteers to cover both things. And with that, we're back to the small town "Its always been done this way" mentality.

I never thought being in this position was all about politics. How you phrase things. How words can be twisted back at you. Who you know. Who you get on "your side." I feel like I've fallen back in time to high school. Its ridiculous.

I have been on PTO Today all summer and have gotten fired up at the opportunities that are out there for our school. I read these posts and can only wonder at some of the things other PTOs are able to do. I want that for our school! Maybe I just can't fathom the pettiness of these three women when we are all supposed to be working together for the common good. I have not voiced these opinions to anyone except our Vice President and my husband. I have not told these women they HAVE to work. I have explained the situation to them and why it would be helpful if they could possibly work an additional shift. I have been friendly and understanding. I have even taken the time to explain what I'm thinking and why it needs to be scheduled the way it is. I have explained that we do not have the core of parent volunteers that we used to be able to call on. I have encouraged the entire PTO to work together to find a reasonable solution to our problem. I have praised them for their involvement. I have explained that we are running out of time. What more can I possibly do? Quitting for me is not an option. I don't give up that easily. Although, if I did, I wouldn't even be this far with our PTO! LOL :confused:

I'm not sure I think it matters really Jewel--even if they are board members they still have children and I suspect want to be a part of the event, and while I understand your point that you'd expect them to do more if they are board members...that can't numb any of us to the fact that if they say they want to volunteer for 45 minutes for the event that we should honor that position. I know that as board members we often do the whole thing without complaint..but if she's having this much flack from these folks--then I wouldn't push it and possibly make it all come tumbling down...you know?

d

IowaPTOMom - Please clarify: Are these 3 women on the PTO board of directors or are they simply "members" (i.e. parent volunteers). My reply was based on my interpretation of your post that they are actually on the board of directors.

I really don't think it is unreasonable for parents to volunteer for one shift and expect that to be their contribution. If you pressure them--then you're getting into a feeling of "a black hole" that is often discussed on these boards. I agree with desert--every volunteer should be praised for their support no matter what sort of package it comes in. Tell the principal of your shortfalls...and tell the parents that due to a lack of support there will be no meal served for the event. There's no fault to it--it's just the reality. Perhaps the principal can gently nudge the parents--but if you begin to strong arm folks--even those 3 you do have will go away.
Asking older children to help as suggested by jewels is also a good idea. We have learn and serve children that are always trying to get volunteer time or even the HS national honor society. There's always something.
Kudos on your successes--THAT'S the story you want to circulate--not that your pushing folks to volunteer more than they want to ... maybe not this time--but soon folks will realize there's no free ride in this and working is what makes it all come together.

good luck
d

I feel that the way to approach PTO volunteers is to be happy when I get them and make the best of it. I understand your anger, but these women are not paid nor did they volunteer to be a Board member where they knew they would be asked to sacrifice a lot of their time. They feel they are doing a good thing (and they are) so don't discourage them. People will be more willing to help in future if they don't think they will get "stuck" working entire events.

My suggestion, for what it's worth, accept these ladies' help when they said they could. And contact your middle school and high school and ask for volunteers. You can also ask people as they walk in - tell them "If you can, could you stop back when they're finished to help out for a short time?"

Another thought, and it may be too late now, but do you HAVE to have all of this going on in one night? Can you nix the dinner or move the book fair to another date? If you called all 166 possible sets of volunteers and you don't have enough to help, then they should understand that you cannot offer all of the aspects to your usual Back2School night. It just can't be done - you're not Wonder Woman, just a wonderful woman. And you should re-think future events keeping in mind that you will have fewer volunteers this year.

Good luck - I'm sure it will all turn out okay - it usually does.

**I have been told that if these 3 HAVE to work 2 shifts, then they will quit. **

With friends like these, who needs enemies? Given their attitudes, despite the desperate circumstances of the situation (which I'm sure you have explained to them), you now know how little you'll be able to count on them this year. This will be just the start of the aggravation you will receive when trying to work with them on various programs through-out the year and, because of that, you'd be better off if they do quit.

As Reagan used to say, "We don't negotiate with terrorists". So, with regard to your upcoming event, call their bluff: Schedule them as you need to. If they quit, so be it -- it will only reflect badly on them. Asking them to work 90 minutes instead of 45 is entirely reasonable. Unless they are willing to come up with a different solution that allows the shifts to be covered, you're doing the best you can.

Then, get on the horn to all your friends, your church family, the local Boy Scout troops, etc. and ask for help given the circumstances. If need be ask some of the veteran parents if they would be willing to come back for a repeat performance this once because of the situation. Also, lots of teens at the high school and church need to earn service hours, so this would be the ideal situation for them.

As long as you handle yourself professionally and as fairly as the circumstances allow, (no gossiping; no bitter complaining to others), and have been forthright and honest with everyone as to the circumstances, I highly doubt you will lose any other new members or prevent others from stepping forward to help as the year goes on. In fact, once the news of these women's bad behavior gets out, it will more likely strengthen the bonds and committment to the PTO by the rest of the members.

Let us know how it goes.