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Defiant Member

15 years 6 months ago #146727 by rlaneew
Replied by rlaneew on topic RE: Defiant Member
I would think that there SHOULD be something in your by laws about a members actions being hurtful to what the PTO is trying to accomplish..I'm sure in much more formal text, and from what you describe she is doing just that. I'm betting this will be your loop hole to getting her out of there!

Good Luck!

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
15 years 6 months ago #146726 by beammeup
Replied by beammeup on topic RE: Defiant Member
Thanks everyone for the advice. I have requested a copy of the bylaws, but they don't exist in an electronic format (that we can find). I plan on going over them with a fine toothed comb and figuring out a way to get this psycho off the PTO. All I see is tragedy in our future if she is allowed to continue her rampage of narcissistic defiance.

I will try to get to the school and get a copy tomorrow so I can formulate my plan over the weekend.

Pray for me!
15 years 6 months ago #146718 by gjcoram
Replied by gjcoram on topic RE: Defiant Member
After you give her the cease and desist order, I'd think any further attempt by her to solict on behalf of the PTO would be fraud because she is not authorized to do so.
15 years 6 months ago #146704 by Jewel3
Replied by Jewel3 on topic RE: Defiant Member
She's definitely not a team player. I agree with dif as to the first course of action. In anticipation of her continuing on her merry way in the same manner afterwards, check your by-laws prior to the meeting and inform her that any except compliance in all respects (what she says, what she does, her attitude, etc.) to the "cease and desist" command will result in _________________ (expulsion from the board, the initiation of a board trial leading to a motion to expell her, etc.).

And, of course, cut off the flow of communication to her regarding any activities in the planning stages.
15 years 6 months ago #146703 by dlf
Replied by dlf on topic RE: Defiant Member
Wow--talk about too much of a good thing or maybe even too much of a bad thing.

I would suggest it's time for a very formal, very stern meeting that is called by the principal, in his or her office, with you and the president in attendance. I would very formally again give her the cease and desist order and let her know that she has been removed from the committee. You can lay out the actions you've taken to date including how many times you've told her to stand down and then specifically hand her a piece of paper to sign (maybe that's going a bit far) saying she understands the limits of her position within the group and on that particular effort. I would refuse to accept any further donations she solicits.

Finally--if you need to. Contact the vendors in question, let them know the promises made were not made with authority and offer to return the donations.

Lay out her responsibilities as the Historian and offer to readvertise her position if the limitations don't meet with her liking.

Then when she walks out halfway through the meeting, stick you tongue out at her. At least you'll feel better :).
d
15 years 6 months ago #146701 by beammeup
Defiant Member was created by beammeup
I am the chair for Fundraising on our PTO. I have been working on an event that is due to take place in the very near future. There have been three separate meetings regarding this event where planning and decision-making have taken place.

There is one woman (who is the PTO Historian) who attended two out of the three of these meetings, however, she spent most of the two meetings she attended engaged in rude side conversations and not listening while the rest of the group was discussing and making decisions regarding this event. In each meeting, I kept detailed notes and sent out the minutes to these meetings to the entire PTO mailing list.

Out of the blue, this woman begins sending me emails wanting to know the reasons behind decisions that were made in these meetings. She asked questions and the answers were in the minutes that I distributed. She has taken it upon herself to go out and solicit items for the event and to make promises to people making donations that she has no authority to make. She is not part of the Fundraising committee nor did she consult me (the Chair) before doing these things.

The PTO president has spoken to her and directed her to stop making decisions and promises that she does not have the authority to make and that she MUST coordinate all of her efforts through me.

This woman has basically ignored what the President has asked her to do and has kept on with her unauthorized and misdirected efforts. These efforts have now resulted in a duplication of a number of donated items (I had already procured certain items and had she checked with me, she would have known it). At that point, I thanked her for all her hard work and told her that as the person who volunteered for the Fundraising position, that I would handle these matters from now on.

Apparently, she has not only chosen to totally disregard the direction of the PTO president, but she has also ignored my directions and has refused to cooperate and operate within logical guidelines. By refusing to communicate and coordinate with the Chair of this event, she has put herself and the PTO in an embarrasing position by promising a donor that that donor can perform a certain awards function when the PTO President and I have already made arrangements for that function to be performed by a local elected official.

I have directed her that any and all invoices, orders, plans, etc. must be presented to me for my approval. Since I am the Chair for this event, I am ultimately responsible for all aspects pertaining to this event.

She has made arrangements with sponsors/donors for photo ops before the event without checking with me. She has created donor forms and checklists without copying me. I am at my wit's end. She has volunteered to generate the sponsor/donor thank you letters and I agreed and told her that all correspondence needed to presented to me for my approval BEFORE it is sent. I would bet my next paycheck (if I actually got one) that she will attempt to send them out without going through me.

Though I am lucky in that she has not singled out my area as the only one in which she has interfered. She attempted to instruct the Parlamentarian that no changes were to be made to the By-Laws without her express consent. Am I wrong, or is the Historian's job to take pictures and keep the files order?

The principal is pissed off, the PTO president is pissed off, and I am pissed off. Many other members have said that because of her, and the fact that we will all be at the same schools for the next 6 years, that they will never serve on a PTO again!

She has deliberately defied the directions given to her by her PTO president. She has deliberately defied the directions given to her by the Chair of the event. She has made promises to donors that she had NO authority to make. She has caused strife and unrest in the PTO organization and has been a terrible disruption to the activities of our PTO.

What do I do about her? She may have or soon will cause irreparable damage to the reputation of the school and the PTO in the community. She is defiant, disobedient, and has considerable hostility towards authority figures. She is argumentative, refuses to comply with the orders of superiors, deliberately annoys others, etc.

The PTO president and I are at a loss.

Help!!
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