London -- My 4:47pm post was a specific response to Jaded's post.
With regard to your comment about "it is a school after all", our policy is that the school activities like class parties, sports day, and so on are reserved for the pleasure of the actual students of the school. Until younger siblings reach school age, it is not their privilege or right to participate.
Regarding your question about adult only events, our parent orientation evenings and parent/teacher conferences are for adults only. Our Teacher appreciation activities include the students. Our volunteer appreciation luncheon is adults only.
The entire family, including younger siblings, are welcome to attend school events like concerts, plays, and two of our yearly fundraisers (a carnival in the fall and a 5k run in the spring).
This was a no children issue as in adults only I find it hard to believe the principal will make a stance on this at least not one that says no children allowed - I mean it is a school after all.
Does anyone have events - like teacher appreciation or volunteer appreciation that are child free?
Sounds like your principal needs to make a stand on the issue. At our school, there are some events where the whole family is welcome (like concerts and plays), but other activities where the activity is restricted to students and parents only (like class parties).
Whenever we've had a parents break the rule and bring younger sibs to something like a class party, it's been a mess. The little ones expect to do the craft, have a cupcake, etc. It's not fair to the parents who are supplying materials or food for the parties and it's not fair to the students who don't even get the privilege of having something just for themselves without their brothers or sisters even though it's their class.
Although the "no siblings" rule may prevent some parents, for a time, from volunteering, the overall benefit of the policy to everyone else is well worth it.
I can't imagine that being told to parents here. Younger sibs go to everything. Last year one younger sib was in the way while we were trying like mad to keep up with the demand for sodas at the concession stand during a school dance (would have been a lot easier if the School Dictator aka Student Activities Coordinator would have allowed cans of soda instead of demanding cups and ice and soda poured from 2-L bottles). Younger sibs have also been disruptive at PTA board meetings. Years and years ago we were told that younger sibs weren't allowed in the elementary school, because the year before at another school in the district a younger sib had pulled a bookcase down on themself. That rule was ignored.
London-obviously there is a lot going on here that is above and beyond this one incident. I think it might be valuable for you to have a more encompassing conversation with the president and let her know that you're feeling unwelcomed and underappreciated of late. Not sure how long this has been going on but if your pres is of any value she'll talk this through with you. Also consider what may have caused your relationship to go south. Was there a miscommunication somewhere? Was there an event you can trace this back to? If so-that is probably what needs to be discussed to set things straight as matter of factly as you can. If you vent emotionally you will lose your chance to positively impact things. Perhaps saying "At the luncheon when I observed other parents at the event with children it made me feel that perhaps I'm being treated differently for some reason. I'd like to move through this so I can continue to make a positive impact for our children."
If doing that is not something you care to then you can reassess your participation with the group and perhaps move into a more comfortable zone for yourself; maybe volunteering with the class as opposed to the whole school. With two small children you shouldn't stress yourself out by presenting yourself in ways that don't bring you a positive environment. It won't be healthy for you or your kids.
Normally I would speak to the pres but there have been so many problems like this as of late that I am a little fed up. I have been working very hard over the summer and recently have only been undermined and criticized. What is she going to tell me, she is sorry? I know this is childish but I don't want to hear sorry anymore. I don't do this work for thanks and praise but I also don't want to be the whipping boy.
