I think this is one of the most important/practical topics thios forum has seen in quite some time. Great opinions and input.

For those that heard my "8 Habits" keynote at the conferences this year, this topic was the theme throughout.

There's been so much said here, I thought I'd add a couple of comments that refer to various posts above. Forgive me for not cutting and pasting or getting references exactly right:

1. Couldn't agree more that meeting attendance is not the best measure of group effectiveness. I know of several groups now (led by JHB's group) that have done away with monthly meetings, but which still do great work. Effectiveness is measured by your involvement and environment (are you helping create a special school?) results, not by attendance at your meetings.

2. It takes time, but I believe there are two steps needed for involvement growth long-term. You have to create opportunities that the uninvolved parents will have some attraction to, fun events, family events, free events that some/many will attend. ( www.schoolfamilynights.com ).

Once they come in a single time or several times, those events (and your whole group) has to be really welcoming and appreciative and FUN. If enough folks have a consistently good time and see others having a good time, there's a much higher likelihood of your gaining volunteers and supporters.

People have so many options of where to spend their time. From watching TV at home, to coaching a ball team, to going out with friends, to volunteering with the public library, to yadda, yadda, yadda. That's what you're competing with. If they get more out of being associated with your group then they do out of the other options -- then you win. If they don't...

3. Finally, things like changing meeting times or revolving meeting times, having the art show in conjunction with your meeting, and door prizes -- there's nothing wrong with them. But I've yet to see those things fundamentally change meeting attendance at a single school. If the group is not fun and welcoming, then those cosmetic changes are a bit like moving the deck chairs on the Titanic.

I talked about this stuff for an hour at all of our conferences; it's much more difficult to try and make the point in a quick forum messgae.

Tim

Funny enough, you and I are probably very much alike in that we are both straight forward. I was only taken aback by the one comment about not buying in... and I still feel strongly about it but I apologize for getting on a soapbox like that. I think part of reason I did was because I have been there. Two years have passed since I was prez (ah, but I'll be the prez for the coming year...) and as prez, I felt (in the beginning) as you do, that I'm doing all I can for other people's children that the least they could do is help an hour or two a month. So Right? So Right. I didn't think that I was giving off any negative vibes, but in reality I now believe I did. One of the hardest things to do is to put yourself in someone else's shoes. My mother was so busy raising 5 children on her own, with no job skills and only $23 per child (and only for 4 of the 5 children) in child support that any time she wasn't working or sleeping was spent with us, trying to make our childhood something other than miserable memories. She was involved in our school PTA, even serving as pres one year, but it was because she was such a strong woman. Not everyone can be that strong when oppressed. I am extremely involved, over involved one might say, but only because I am as strong, if not stronger than my mother. My house is a mess (looks like someone turned it upside down, shook it real hard, set it back upright and then repeated the act...lol...), but I volunteer full time at the school, work with our PTO, serve on our Site Council, volunteer with the county fair, the battered women's shelter, etc. My husband would really like to have a clean house. Some husbands would 'make' their wives do less outside of the home so that the castle is clean. That is A LOT of people's priorities... My husband lets me try to save the world... I do what I do because I want to and because I can. Not everyone gets to say that, or do that. I think rather than saying 'shame on someone for not helping', that we should say 'what a shame they can't help'.

I apologize again if I seemed harsh, but as a strong, forward woman yourself, I'm hoping you'll understand and forgive me. I will try to suggest other ways in the future to get ideas to get more folks involved at your school. Have you tried comedy? I sent home a Top 10 list of reasons to join a PTO that was funny. It helped take our attendance at meetings from 6 people to 40 people per meeting. It worked for me because it showed who I was and how I looked at things. It showed folks (at least I think that's what it did...lol) that there was a sense of humor at the meetings...

[ 05-15-2004, 11:57 PM: Message edited by: TheMetzyMom ]

Metzy definately no offense taken so no worries, I really do enjoy seeing other peoples point of views including those totally different then mine, helps you think things out.

I am not dictatorish at all, I just tend to be straightforward about comments so sometimes it can be taken the way you took it and thats with everything I do not just PTO [img]smile.gif[/img]

I should probably explain where my PTO stands...would make my comments more clear from times. We have a group of maybe 10 parents involved in the school (members of PTO and other parents not involved in PTO). Out of those 10, 7 of them are PTO members (the other 3 work at night and help the school in the day). We have to pull double duty because we don't have enough members and we contribute about 30k to our school of 593 kids. We've tried everything we can think of to get members including sending out a notice listing everything we give to the school and how much we help the kids out and saying if we didn't have more members we might not be able to have a PTO next year. So basically my comments were based off of being tired, overworked, frustrated with parents here. You know bottom of the barrel comments. Families are obviously the top priority to people and always will be. But 2 hrs a month is 2 hrs a month, its not that much. I'm not burnt out and will still work as hard to help my son's school, but I have to admit I think its very sad that as much as we've volunteered and done to get volunteers, and even though all those parents enjoy all the family fun nights and parties and things we do, we still can't get enough people in so we don't have to pull double duty. I do tell other parents about it if I'm asked. I don't go into long drag out sob stories just simply about how almost desperate it's getting if more parents don't help out.

I completely understand some parents are as involved as we are just with other groups. I do know most parents are busy as heck these days and do have little time. I wouldn't even care if they came to the meetings to give the 2 hrs a month as long as someone, anyone, did that. We do a brochure sale at the beginning of the school year that brings in 25k, its our main fundraiser. I still have parents coming up to me complaining and how much they hate it. I hate that stuff too but I can't do anything about it if parents don't help. They can complain but don't step up to change it. I've send home letters letting them know how much we make and its a main fundraiser but every single time when I mention it brings in 25k and is our main fundraiser they respond with OH! we didn't know that! Just blows me away.

I was posting this at another topic when I realized, it worked well here. Perhaps give an even better idea as to why parents can't attend meetings or volunteer too often.
My mom was widowed when I was young and it was just me and her.
She was a member of the PTA but she worked graveyard as a nurse and was sleeping pretty much any time there was a meeting. However, I remember her taking me to the spaghetti dinners and she would stay up sometimes to chaperone my field trips or come to a school program. She worked 60 sometimes 70 hour a week. She didn't have time to volunteer and if she did, she wouldn't have had much time for me.
I have tremendous respect for my mom. She did what she could and I can't imagine if someone, sometime ago, said the same things about her because she didn't attend the meetings.

This took an interesting turn didn't it.
Metzy, I think you came down a little hard on melloweer. You know I love ya but it was harsh. I saw it as a different opinion but not that she came across as a dictator type. I know it's hard but we all need to really try and remember not to take things personally in here. (and I especially know of what I speak!)
Melloweer, you see things differently but I deal with 30 PTAs and your experience that the meetings gauge the activity is really not the norm. It's obvious even here that it's not the norm. No, we parents don't have even more time to call 200 volunteers but if you have a list with e-mails, it's one click and it's done. Perhaps you are taking too much on yourself.
Most people are using the internet to communicate or even the old fashioned phone tree. If you think that by only making contact with your volunteers at meetings, I think it's time you look into these options.
If a parent only has 1-2 hours to give a month, I don't want it for the meeting. I want them to give it in their classrooms, at a fundraiser, or a book drive. If you have a few more hours, make one of them your meeting but the ones that have the least amount of time, use it for the hands on stuff. If 5 people show up to your meeting, you will still get business done and it will be relatively painless. If 5 people show up for a 50,000 fundraising jog-a-thon, you've got a problem and 5 burnt out people.

With three children in school I have seen the gammot. Last year the kindergarten moms were so involved a scedual had to be made to make everyone happy and keep our poor teacher sain! This year...one mom once a month (that's not including me as I help outside her roomwith stuff I can do at home). Obviously last years moms are in first grade and helping them and these teachers are amazed and a little overwhelmed by the support. Now have ANY been to our meetings on a Monday night? NOPE. Well, me but otherwise that's is.
My oldest is in middle school and the same thing. Now here the teachers know by now who will come on a field trip and who can't BUT they know I will speak for their behalf to get money for ribbons.

I make the time, and I have five. Menzy has a houseful too, we make the time. I've seen some moms drop off and pick up in the same jammies they had on at 7:30! That scares me that she could find the time to at least find some jeans!

Towanda,
An idea I want to offer my school is to ask if we can hold an "volunteer informational" meeting once a month right before school ends in the afternoon to inform parents of where volunteers are needed, feild trips coming up ect. I want to be able to offer a movie or quiet toys for little ones (have two of my own) and something for the parents. Evenings are hard, this could be the happy meduim that could work.

I can barely make my kids clean their rooms, but I know I can offer them a choice, clean your room and see a movie or don't and not get to see a movie. That's what I am working on at our school, another choice or option. If you would like to be more involved, come see what we have to offer or not.

[ 05-15-2004, 05:30 PM: Message edited by: mykidsmom ]