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Parent Apathy

17 years 3 months ago #127324 by RobinD
Replied by RobinD on topic RE: Parent Apathy
I am in year 5 at the helm of our school, and I feel your pain, as most here do! I have had lengthy conversations to our Principal about this, and if it makes you feel any better, he sometimes can't get parents to come in to discuss their children's education issues. He tells me there are kids that go 6 years through the school and the parents NEVER EVER set foot inside the building.

Having said that.... here's a REALLY important part of your job.. NEVER let ANYONE know how angry you feel.. as much as you just want to scream and shake some sense into those people, you HAVE to remain a positive and upbeat leader. NO ONE feels confident under a leader who is negative, and no one wants to work with/for someone who lacks the grace to rise above the challenge. Think about any world leaders.. do you EVER see them on TV whining and moaning and criticizing their publics? Imagine how frustrating for politicians it must be to work your tail off for 3 years campaigning, and only have 20% of the eligible voters come out and vote??


Now, how to get those people? I have discussed this in other threads. Offer " Volunteer Opportunities" rather than having general meetings. be specific about the time, place and duty, and you are much more likely to get poeple to commit. People don't come to " blind" meetings like that because they are terrified of getting themselves into something to which they don't want to give 40 hours a week ( like they see us doing! )....... search my term ' volunteer opportunity' on these boards and you will find more! robin
17 years 3 months ago #127322 by dlf
Replied by dlf on topic RE: Parent Apathy
sorry for all the typos...up top...

I've been awake all night wondering how in the heck I'm going to manage our donuts with dads event - we are up to over 400 people coming....now the DOWN side to participation...

AHHHHHHHH
17 years 3 months ago #127321 by GaMom
Replied by GaMom on topic RE: Parent Apathy
Unfortunately, your situation is not unique. It is a problem that a lot of us seem to face. We live in a society where both parents work in most houses, and it is a struggle to keep up with their day to day lives, and to add a PTO meeting in the schedule is just too much. I hear a lot of, "the evening are my time with my family." I totally understand that. But like you, when is the school going to be a priority? We all want our kids to have the best educaiton possible, but only a handful of us are actually working to make that happen.

Have you tried talking with the teacher and seeing who is volunteering in the classes? That may give you a lead as to who may be available to help some. Also, maybe try sending some fliers out asking for chairpeople and volunteers. unfortunately, you probably wont get much response from either. So break the carnival duties apart and work on it is small steps.

You can do it!
Good luck!
17 years 3 months ago #127320 by dlf
Replied by dlf on topic RE: Parent Apathy
While the initial sense is exasperation...I have to give CC's approach a second. If you can get just one new person interested in volunteering...you will then have that one person to go and recruit some of those folks and after a while it works. What is tough to do is not bad mouth the population to anyone and say "the same 4 people keep doing the same thing"...that may be true but if you fan make this stuff seem fun...more people will come.
Our initial year we had a very small population that participated in the work effort but now, because people know me and we communicate constantly it is very easy for me to recruit assistance. I just asked for committee chairs for 6 events coming this spring and got takers for all but one ... then as we said, they can recruit their own pool of folks to support.
Having said that--150 people is not a bad turn out. One thing we did was to make all our events on Thursdays so parents have some planning predictability. And while some have said that it hurts their ability to support (maybe 3) most folks like knowing that if there is an event they know what night of the week it will be.
We also publish a calendar way in advance and constantly post our updates on the website we run. The spirit is one of fun...and having sign up sheets for the next event is certainly a good idea.
Finally--have things ready so when someone says "can I help"--you say "you bet" and get them moving in support...if they don't ask, then you ask them. So many folks are happy to assist and just don't say so up front. Then they are more likely to assist the next time around (some will grumble but turn a deaf ear and look at a smiling child till they get over it).
Our Holiday Craft Night I didn't do a very good job of getting folks moving but I knew on sight that I could make it happen and we did. One woman had a bit of an annoying attitiude about jumping in at the last minute so I put my arms around her and said thank you and how great a job she did making it fun for her children that night. BANG...new best friend.
I guess you have to get used to wearing teflon...as the presient and event organizer for things. It isn't easy but don't take it personally...it isn't. You are raising an all volunteer force from nothing..they will respond to leadership and good attitudes and if 100 kids had a good time...that is something you can be very proud of...
d
17 years 3 months ago #127318 by Skyview PTO
Replied by Skyview PTO on topic RE: Parent Apathy
CrewChief did a fabulous job of being optimistic, and I agree that you will somehow pull it together and have a great Spring Carnival. That is why this site is so nice, you get support from stangers who share your situation.

That being said, I have to agree totally with your frustration and bitterness. We had our spring carnival kick off meeting last Tuesday, and other than the three board members who do everything, we had 2 people show up to help. The three of us board members were ecstatic with that measly turnout. We have 600 students, so that is the number of students you would have needed to get "two" volunteers.

I felt the same bitterness last Friday when we had our winter Family Fun Night and I planned out a "Survivor" evening. I had challenges set up for every kid who showed up. I had to guess a turnout, so I made 200 ice cubes with plastic flies in them. Then each kid would have to melt the ice cube with their hands to get the fly. With parents, we are lucky if we even had 150 people total. The kids who came had an absolute blast, but I walked away with total disgust for the average parent who couldn't get their butt off the sofa to have some fun as a family.

I did have to chuckle when CrewChief suggested maybe the State of the Union address kept people home. In this day and age it was more likely American Idol that kept people home. And mind you, not the finals, we are talking the pathetic first shows of American Idol.

Anyway, just wanted you to know that your situation is not unique. I would love to say that the rest of the parents are volunteering to be my daughter's sports coaches or Sunday School teachers, but yet I see the same people who volunteer for the PTO doing those "jobs" also.

Good luck, hope you can pull it off.
17 years 3 months ago #127314 by afreil
Replied by afreil on topic RE: Parent Apathy
Thanks, Crewchief. Yummy rice krispy treats.
Unfortunately there are not enough PTO board members to assign as subcommittee chairpersons. There are only four parents, including myself, on the PTO board this year. I am the PTO president and self-appointed chairman of the Spring Festival (simply due to the fact that no one else will volunteer). I was just dumbfounded that no one showed up tonight. I just can't imagine being that disinterested in the primary fundraiser/event for my child's school.
I'm feeling kind of bitter right now and I need to get over it.
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