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Why Do I Bother?

23 years 1 month ago #94169 by Critter
Replied by Critter on topic RE: Why Do I Bother?
I agree with the comment about the election process and your Bylaws. If your group doesn't have any Bylaws, adopt some (I'll email you ours if you want). If your Bylaws don't stipulate a fair election process, make a motion to ammend them appropriately and then lead the rewrite effort. We just revised our Bylaws and I think they are a strong tool to help our PTO stay on track.

Re: one woman show - at the start of the year, we set out sign-up sheets for every committee, including chairperson. Throughout the year, it is our VP's job to act as liaison to the committee chairs to ensure they are doing their jobs. Unfortunately, sounds like it may be toolate for you to get into an existing project (your Prez is in charge), so why not come up with a new idea and volunteer to chair it? If you have the project fleshed out before you present it to the PTO, it would be hard for her to so obviously take it over from you. Good luck!
23 years 1 month ago #94168 by Pres
Replied by Pres on topic RE: Why Do I Bother?
I am president of our schools parent group. I end up doing a lot by myself but not strictly by choice! If I need help I know there are a FEW parents I can call on but generally theres not much feedback! If I take on a project by myself I can't complain later I had no help. Our parents do sign in at the beginning of our meetings but it is not for my use it is for the school use, yes there is a difference. I ask you to rethink your view, are you sure the president knows you want to be involved. I have parents tell me they want to be but I never hear from them again unless they happen to see me out in town then they are interested again. If you want to help be sure your phone # is available to the group, that helps. If not success then, I am truely sorry for you don't give up keep trying if you really want to help.I just ask that you really think about the officers position before attacking her>
23 years 1 month ago #94167 by LORI
Replied by LORI on topic RE: Why Do I Bother?
I wish you were in my group of parents! We have about 12 regulars that come to each meeting. Everyone always "OFFERS" to help out, but when it comes down to it, where are they. I delegate to those who offer to help, only to wind up doing it myself in the longrun. I'll contact them, give them any materials they need, offer to help out with what they have offered to do if needed, make myself available by phone or in person; yet it just doesn't seem to get done by anyone else. BUT, of course when someone asks who was involved in putting XXX together, their right there. Last year we {I] put together a 6th grade dinner/graduation/dance function. I had volunteers from a committee to do: invitations [ 2 weeks before the event I did them] order the food & pick it up [3 days prior I ordered, my husband did the pick up with no help, the 2 guys that were supposed to help him needed to shower] another parent said "I have a friend who says he'll DJ [ 1 month prior we still had no contact # or contract [ I contracted a DJ then] at least a dozen parents and their 6th grade students were going to help decorate and set-up the hall [ 1 parent showed up for 20 minutes then needed to go get ready, thank god I have 5 kids , a sister and a neighbor who has no kids in this school, who helped me out!] are you getting this picture yet???
Needless to say; the event went over VERY WELL anyway! When the principal took the stage and microphone he asked all the people who made this evening possible to stand up, I never saw sooo many " ACTIVE VOLUNTEER P.T.O. MEMBERS" take stand...
I have been asked by parents, staff & 6th grade students this year if we [P.T.O.] are going to have a 6th grade graduation function for this year's 6th grade graduating class. ARE WE???
I have addressed the 6th grade class in relation to this, and this is what I have told them: I will stand beside you, I will help out, I will help make it possible; BUT under no circumstances will I do it again on my own!! If you want this for graduation, then get your parents involved , and I do NOT mean just telling me that they will help out. They will actually need to help or it will not take place.
So I ask,where are all our parent volunteers that offer to help out?? As you can see our P.T.O. has very low actual parental involvement follow-thru.
23 years 2 months ago #94166 by KlamB
Replied by KlamB on topic RE: Why Do I Bother?
I am one of the 5 or less "regulars" at our PTO meetings. The Officers sound very much like the woman you described. They ask for volunteers, but then never call or claim to not have someone's phone number. We sign in at every meeting name, AND phone! Do these people think we're all stupid. I think it must be a function of PTO to attract people who are so hungry for control. If this woman doesn't accept help and does everything herself, how can seh complain when memebers stop coming.

Check your PTO's By-laws about elections. In ours the officer have to be elected NOT appointed by the current President. The fact she "appointed" her sister sounds like she truly is a controller. Definitely talk with the other parents and don't stop going to meetings. Chance are many people find this one person difficult to deal with. She can't stay in control forever. Try to find a way to let her step aside gracefully, that way everyone can win. GOOD LUCK!
23 years 3 months ago #94165 by clarkslucky13
Replied by clarkslucky13 on topic RE: Why Do I Bother?
NO !!!!!!!!! Don't stay at home!! Good Grief this gal will clasp of exausion one of these days and hopfully her sister will not be as crazy as her sister therefore come to her senses and get help!! Well okay, but it could happen! In the meantime keep our name on the calling tree and start talking to the other five people at the meetings to see what they think. Our PTO has the same 5 to 6 parents that come to all the meetings and it gets old but I was one of the 5 until I rose my hand and was nominated for an office. Please don't give up on the PTO, I bet your chilren like it that you are involved-- mine do!
23 years 3 months ago #94164 by momto5
Why Do I Bother? was created by momto5
I have 4 step kids and one biodaughter, and we transferred them all into one school system this year. That means I am a newcomer to the PTO organizations. There are two groups, one in elementary and one in middle school.
I'm very interested in being involved and I show up at every meeting and always ask to be called or offer to participate in events.
My problem is that there is one woman who is elementary president and a member of the middle school group who seems to think she is a one-woman show.
There is little to no discussion of anyone being responsible for doing things but her (in both groups). Next year her kids will be out of elementary and she appointed her sister to be president next year.
She handles the book fairs for both schools alone every year, without question. If there are phone calls to be made, she is in charge. These are just some examples. She is also very good at making people feel small who present different ideas.
She actually had the nerve at the last meeting to comment about a lady who came to a couple meetings, volunteered for stuff and never came back. Gee I wonder why?!
I'm just a general member, but if there is whining about small membership, perhaps more of us general members should be given oportunities to do more than supply soda and cookies for activities.
OK seasoned PTO people, convince me I should keep going to these meetings. They are attended by between 5 and 10 people each. They have my number, I might as well stay home.
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