1. Casually mention to the principal that a group of 1st graders wants to twirl flaming batons in the talent show. That’s covered under the school’s insurance policy, right?

2. Call the principal to say that a local business has offered to donate 100 pogo sticks to the school. Can we use them for PE classes?

3. Pass out earplugs to teachers, then start a rumor that the mystery guest reader visiting today is actually Taylor Swift.

4. “Remind” the PTO president that she needs to wear the school mascot costume at the end-of-year field day event. “It’s tradition; no one told you?”

5. Generously offer the librarian the complete set of 1967 encyclopedias that you got for a steal at a garage sale last weekend.

6. Place a sign at the entrance to the pickup and drop-off line reading “No minivans!”