Our PTO organization has been virtually useless over the last few years, no policy, no organization, no support. This year, I was made prez and things have been moving. Still, no major attendance at meetings but we have been working to get more parents involved.

Here is the problem, the director of the school is an old tyrant! He is rude, overly controlling and is never around. He talks to all of us as if we are his subordinates, that inculdes parents and our PTO staff. Every idea that has been presented get changed, when ever attempts are made to dicuss parent concerns, he is more concerened with who said it than what is said, and he is not happy with the fact that we encorage parents to speak up and speak to us regarding thier concerns if they feel that they are not getting through to staff directly.

My basic question is, what do i do to get this man to stop approaching me in such a disrespectful way. I do feel that if I were a man, he wouldnt dare do or say the things that he has about our group and the things we are attempting to do.

If you feel that he is unapproachable and if the situation is really that bad, I would document past incidents that you have experienced and gather together a few others who are just as frustrated and have them document their experiences too. Once you have enough information, I would approach your district superintendents office to set up a scheduled meeting. I would not say what the meeting is about but just that you would like to discuss some issues that are occurring at your school. With legitimate concerns brought up, they should listen. Don't be put off if you are asked to attend a meeting where he is called in to give his side. Be diligent and see this through! Bad administrators are a detriment to you and your child as well as the school and the community. In our area, superintendents are put in place by a school board. The school board is appointed by our city board of aldermen (one slot is elected). If the conversation with the superintendent does not go well, there is always your school board and you local representatives. Good luck! You will be doing a service for your community to rectify this situation.

Have you tried discussing these feelings with him? Have a 3rd party there but schedule a meeting with him before you head things down to the superintendants office. No one likes it when someone goes over their head without a heads up and if he is truely as bad as you make it sound he will make life more demeaning if he's hit blind sided. He might even have the super or many memebers of the board in his pocket if he's been around a while. Proceed with caution.

Discussing "feelings" is exactly what she should not do. If she reverts to "the girly thing to do" of course he'll never give her the same respect he would give her male counterpart!!

Well, first I have a question. You write "School Director". What exactly does this mean?

Are we talking the Principal?

Next, is your group under the "umbrella" of the school or are you an independant group? If independant, then your point is 100% valid. If under the school then he may see you, and possibly rightly, as an entity under him.

I would recommend setting up a formal meeting with him. Have your Vice President or other Executive Officers there as well. If it's really bad you may need to invite him superior (Superintendant of School?). Discuss what you believe is working and what isn't. Discuss the Budget for the rest of the year. Discuss new ideas that you would like him to consider. Find out what his priorities are and how you can help him meet those goals.

Effectively, get his buy in to what you want to do and then you can go from there.

Other than that examples of your issues with him might help.

Good luck,
PresidentJim

bad administrators dont go away until their boss is made aware of the issues.

talk to the superint. probably many teachers have already done so, if he is as bad as you say, there are no doubt staff issues too.

and a school director that is 'never around'?? sounds pretty bad. if leadership really stinks and no changes are forseeable, you might want to consider other school options in your area.

your kids educaiotn cant alwasys wait for management to shape up. and worst of all cases, is , if yuo have a superint that doenst handle issues, then you really have to consider a move to where management is better. good mananagement really does matter.