I think you just proved my point. No one is ever prepared to lead and leaders make mistakes. Kudos to those that have the courage to lead! CapeDad you nailed it! Whoever is President at just a volunteer's school had better be darn next to perfect. I feel for them.

njmom;129036 wrote: justavolunteer - While I'm sure you have some valid points, you might want to break your posts above into paragraphs. Those of us getting ready for bifocals (say it isn't so!) may have a hard time reading your posts. I'm sorry to say that I gave up when the words started running together. Sorry!

njmom--- i finally got the program to accept the spacing with paragraphs, so now it should be more readable! Thanks for your tip.~`justavolunteer

Dear Cape Dad:

You are just too nice. I sincerely appreciate all the feedback, comments, support, and encouragement. I have to admit I have read, and reread your last two posts just so I could smile!! Thanks.

As I said, I don't see myself running for President at this time. I am truly hoping the current president can pull it all together and remember it, the PTO, is for the kids and not us adults. I want to have faith that we all can learn from our mistakes and move forward --- setting some awesome examples for our own kids.

I am actually looking at one or two other positions, so that I can get on the board and truly have a voice in the matters at hand. It will also allow me to learn more and see things from a different perpestive. And if all goes well, there will be several other moms/dads/grandparents stepping into new positions.

As I mentioned before, I was very lucky to get to know a lot of moms, dads, grandparents, and guardians who also want to have a more active role in our PTO. They each have some wonderful ideas for how we can make the PTO stronger, and more active. I am glad to see them stepping up and wanting to be involved. I am sure with time we will find even more who want to be a part of the PTO, once we have things in a more positve order.

I will let you know how the next PTO meeting goes on April 12th and I will surely let you know how the elections go.... they haven't set a date for them yet.

If I ever move to SW Florida, I will definitely look you up! But since I am terrified of Hurricanes, I don't see that happening... of course, I will never say never! So, if I do show up, what school do I need to put my kids in?

Now in regards to your situation, isn't there anyone who stands out even a little in your group, that maybe with the right motivation and encouragement could become Presidential material? Anyone who you could start giving more jobs and responsibilities that with time you could pass it all off to....??? And maybe just to be there for support and to lend a hand, you could still be an officer just not President... What do you think? I will keep you and your PTO in my prayers, especially with all the pep talks you have given me through your posts!

Have a great weekend! sincerely ~~~justavolunteer

Justa,

Unless the next president is an exceptional leader with all her stuff together, in spades, I think you will have little choice but to be president.

Good luck.

Been there;129258 wrote: To Just a volunteer - I have been on the opposite side of such a conflict. I encouraged my parent volunteer to run for President and lead the group in any way that she see fit. Being the PTO President is a difficult balancing act. If and when you are President I guarantee that you will be able to show compassion and understanding regarding your current officers. It is easy to be critical and not be in charge. Only when you "walk in a another's shoes" can you pass such judgement. I look forward to seeing your first post as President!

Dear Been there:

You say you have been on the opposite side of such a conflict:
* Have you had closed meetings that you did not inform all PTO members of?
*Have you placed an individual in a position and then later claimed you never did -- calling the individual a liar and crazy?
*Have you sent a PTO member back her membership dues and told her she is no longer in the PTO?
*Have you refused help from PTO members, just because they were "different" and did not do things in "your" way?
*Has your husband been the treasurer at the same time you were President creating a conflict of interest in the PTO checks and balances?
*Have you taken over other officer positions rather than finding a willing volunteer to work them?

I truly do know that being the President of any organization is a well skilled balancing act and it is far from being easy. But also isn't being president about working for the people who put you there and working with those individuals to achieve the best results? It has never been my intention to be "critical" of the president or vice president and I am sorry if that is the image you have gotten.

As I have stated in previous posts, I simply have a lot of questions about our PTO and its management. And any time I ask a question, an answer is never given. Have you as President refused to answer your members questions? such as how much money was raised with the fundraisers? How many members do we have in our PTO? Why don't we use the school PTO website as a means to list the upcoming PTO events?.... As a member, shouldn't I be able to ask such questions? As a parent who is concerned about her childrens school and its organizations shouldn't I be able to ask?

As I said, i do know how hard it is to be in a President position and I am not here to make that harder. That was not and is not my intention. But I have always been taught and I am teaching my children that it is good to ask questions, because that is how we can learn more and grow into stronger people.

Thank you very much for your opinion and feedback. I appreciate all sides because it enables me to see things more clearly. ~~~sincerely, justavolunteer.

Dear Past Pres:

Thank you very much for all the wonderful suggestions. Your suggestions are actually what I expected when I became a part of the PTO.

I did not want factions when I joined, and I certainly don't want to have factions now. I truly wanted and do want to work with the system to have the best PTO possible for all the students, not just my children. The problem was and is this current PTO is not letting anyone outside of the "group" even know what the "system" is... so we cannot work with them. They have had closed meetings so no one has been able to voice any concerns or questions.

When I first responded to the posts written about me and my being a "crazy volunteer", I apologize if I came across one sided and or looking for trouble. Actually, I was stunned when I discovered the messages from the PTO president because in all honesty she had never even voiced any of those concerns to me. The vice president had always been the one to communicate with me from day one. It was the vice president who asked me to be the Room Parent Coordinator and it was the vice president who signed all the paperwork given to me and every other room mom backing this decision. The PTO president had actually come across as being very quiet, more of a behind the scenes type person. The vice president is the exact opposite. Anyway, my point being, I was stunned when I read her posts because it was a side of her I had never seen before. I was very bothered because she had never even spoken to me about any of the incidents. Even when we did meet with our school principal, it was the vice president who did all the talking. It was strange to see her posts, especially since she left out so much information in regards to all that had transpirred. I will be the first to admit I did not always handle everything in the best way and I made mistakes. I apologize for that. But I do still have a lot of questions and concerns about our PTO, which don't seem to get answered. And the minute I started asking questions, I was pushed outside the group. It was strange.

I would like very much for all of us "adults" to work through this and simply accept that we do have different personalities that won't see everything in the same light --- But wouldn't that allow us to have more opportunities because we would have more options? I am not here to "take over" the PTO, but what is wrong with motivating others to be a PART of the PTO. Since this all began back in August, I have had a wonderful opportunity to meet a lot of moms, dads, grandparents,and guardians who WANT to help -- some a little and some a lot... but when they have reached out and offered to help they have been told their help is not needed. That is where I get really frustrated, because I can see the potential of this PTO and it is being stifled.

Everyone keeps telling me to run for President, but I actually don't think it is the right time for that. I am new to the school and the whole PTO system, so I know I have a lot to learn. And I want to learn all I can, so I can use whatever strengths I do have to help out in any way I can.

As I said, I am not out to take over the PTO, I simply want the right to volunteer and do work that will help the PTO -- and I want a PTO that is willing to work with others even if they aren't in their "group".

I do feel changes are necessary for this PTO to be the best it can be and to grow to its fullest potential. I am just hoping that us "adults" can work through the changes in a manner that would be a great example to our kids.

If the current officers are willing to move forward and work with all of us volunteers to achieve this, than that would be fantastic... if they continue to want to have their "closed" meetings and unadvertised events (there was a PTO bookfair, a RIF (reading is fundamental) day, and the last PTO meeting that the PTO officers never even advertised so none of us Parents were able to be involved... Four of us attended the last meeting, after I finally got the date from the President but it was not public knowledge)... if this is how the officers want to continue, then I am not sure how they can continue being the PTO officers, because the PTO members don't want that.

If they don't wish to work with any others outside their group, then maybe it would be best if they stepped down so that someone who does wish to work with all the PTO can have that office?? Wouldn't that make the most sense? Am I expecting too much?

Thank you again for all the suggestions. I am going to see if our PTO would be willing to give them a chance. Our next PTO meeting is scheduled for April 12th and the audit and bylaws are on the agenda. I am just hoping that they do not attempt to change the bylaws in an effort to keep us members who are voicing our questions and concerns out. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers... each one helps! ~~~sincerely, justavolunteer.