Milage and to pay for your own lunches is absolutely ridiculous and in my mind a deal breaker as far as my support of the PTO would be concerned. It makes me mad just to read it. You could start an email chain of those folks interested on receiving an informal, unofficial PTO information email each week or so....that way it would be targeted and not draw you into the school. You can also post signs when you find out the next date.
In regards to a group of parents getting along...yes there are hundreds of them, but it takes leadership at several levels to keep any group on track and focused on the goal. Human nature is conflictual, so the President MUST maintain and even bias...speaking to and involving even the most difficult of parents until that point that there is absolute evidence that they cannot contribute positively to the group. That means a lot of arbitrating, tongue biting and a good old "keep your mouth shut" attitude. It also takes a lot of communication. A group is only as strong as it's weakest member--so you have to keep everyone rising. Even the most inexperienced has something to lend, even if it is just their thoughts. PTOs are like baseball fields "If you build it -- they will come"...but once they're there don't blow the game by not creating a strong team.

d

Justavolunteer - keep an eye on the board and watch out for their sudden urge to change the by-laws to meet their needs for future years. It's been done in other PTO's and with their controlling nature it wouldn't be a suprise after all posted here.

Justavolunteer,
It sounds like the current board has used the PTO as their own little club. When they asked for your help, I think it was to get you into the club and not to disrupt the way things have run in the past. They didn't like answering questions and having too many people know what was going on. That's when they started trouble for you. Most of the time our group struggles to get participation. To actually send someone their money back and tell them they are not part of the PTO is ridiculous.

It troubled me when in one of the original posts, it was mentioned that you would probably not be elected. In the past, if only the board members attend meetings, who votes? It sounds like they like to keep everything secret so they can just shuffle the positions around amongst the current board members. What do your by-laws state about announcing and holding elections for board positions?

Does your school have its own website?
I would see if the PTO meetings could be put on the school website or at least have it on the school newsletter or school sign. At the end of the meetings, have the board announce when the next meeting will be. At least the parent attending will know and can spread the word if all else fails.

It sounds like you would have the support to be president. I would get the audit done before taking office. Make sure you know in advance what you are getting into. I think the PTO should have its act together before trying to help the school.

Good Luck.

Dear TLGinTN:

Thanks for the feedback. I guess I never even considered counting mileage for any PTO activity. I just thought if we volunteer to help, part of that volunteering is running errands, making copies, and going up to the school endless number of times to get things done without worrying about how much mileage or gas we have used. And in regards to lunches, that still puzzles me, because the PTO money is in my opinion for the kids, not mine or any other volunteers lunch. I know in the "business world" there are "business lunches" but PTO is not truly in the "business" world. And I really don't think it is proper for us to be taking any of the money that has been raised through all the fundraisers and or donations to buy lunches. But as I said, that is just my opinion. Other members who have spoken to me, were bothered by it also, and that is why I did voice me concern in regards to the matter.

Thanks for the pep talk. I am simply just a volunteer who is fortunate to have extra time since I am a stay at home mom. I cannot think of a better way to spend my extra time than being an active part of my kids education. I still make sure I have time for my little one who is home (she is 2) -- we have library time, play dates, and lots of outside time, but she loves going up to the school to help out too. And she has learned that if she wants to go, she has to be on her BEST behavior and not go running down the hallways!!

I personally admire you and all the other parents who work full time outside of the home and still make time to help with the PTO!! That is wonderful and such a good example to the kids. I know how much time it takes just to maintain the house, the kids, the husband, the yard, and the finances... adding a fulltime job and the PTO is a lot more juggling --- I trully admire you for doing it. Keep up the great work.

Thanks again for the feedback. If you can think of any way for me to reach out to parents so that more can be an active part of the PTO, please tell me. And I have to do this without offending the current officers. I have met quite a few parents who apparently have volunteered their time and to help out with PTO functions, but who have been told their help wasn't needed.. so now they have stopped volunteering thinking everything is covered.

The next meeting is scheduled for April 12th, and I have requested a flyer be sent home with the students ahead of time (and I volunteered to make such flyer) so that more parents could be given the opportunity to come to the meeting. That is supposed to be the meeting where the board decides when the elections for next year will be.... I wish our PTO had a set day each month for the meetings (such as the second Thursday of every month....) so that Parents would know when it was happening because it was scheduled. Unfortunately our PTO does not have set meeting dates, nor do they meet every month. Does yours? I also wish we could have a monthly PTO calendar to hand out which would show the upcoming events planned, meeting dates, and any school activity going on.... Just an idea to keep the parents informed and active. Does your PTO have a monthly calendar?

Forgive me, I get to rambling and I cannot stop. I hope you have a great day and Thanks again for all the feedback and tips!

~~~sincerely, justavolunteer

Justavolunteer,
I am a PTO officer and I personally don't think you should count mileage unless you are making a long trip (30+miles) to pick up PTO items (auction donations, supplies, etc...). Personally, I made SEVERAL trips around auction time picking up donations, but I never turned in my gas receipts. I could claim them on my taxes, but I don't even fool with that. We also don't deduct "lunches" from our PTO account. We are desperately trying to raise money, so we don't want to take out any money out of our account unless absolutely necessary. Hope this gives you some feedback concerning these issues.

HEy, if you ever want to move, we would love you on our PTO!!! I wish more people (including me) were as motivated and eager to help as you are. I just get so busy sometimes with working full-time, PTO officer, and wife and mom that I forget about flyers, phone calls, etc... I still think you are doing a good thing by stepping back for right now, but I am totally serious when I say you need to run for an office position next year! Sounds like your school needs you.

Dear A1chef:

Thanks for the tips. I agree my enthusiasm can be very strong.. and I know that might seem overpowering to some. I agree that I need to not overwhelm people with it... that is part of the reason I have stepped back on all of this, so that I can try to see things from their point of view and move forward.

I have asked to see the budget, the books, statements, and minutes. I have seen minutes from two of the meetings this year. At the last meeting they did give me a copy of an income and expense worksheet they had drawn up, and a copy of the January bank statement. I was grateful for what they did give me, but I still would like to see the copies of each month's statement since August as I requested. Several things on the income and expense worksheet sent up red flags for concern, such as "mileage reimbursement" (for an individual, not for field trip buses) and "business lunches". I was also concerned when several of the fund raising (candy bar sales and raffle tickets and class prize baskets auctioned off) wasn't listed in the income.

In regards to meeting notices, they admit they don't make them. When I thought I was the room parent coordinator, I did create a flyer to advertise the PTO meeting --- got it approved by the Assistant Principal -- made copies and had it in the teachers box a week ahead of time so that they would have time to get it out to the students because I have learned myself how things can "Not" get sent out on time... and this is the meeting where 30 parents showed up. And yes, some did have their children with them, but the parents brought books and activities for the children to do -- no they were not speechless, so yes, they did talk and ask their parents questions during the meeting --- but as a parent, why would we expect any different? The children were not running around the room or hanging from the lights or throwing food ---- they were being kids. I was just thrilled to see the parents care enough to come with their kids --- we all know it is easier to stay home and not worry about it, but they didn't. And I am thankful for that. And I really want to reach out and encourage them to keep coming. But for the time being, I can't.

I truly believe this can be a wonderful PTO because I can see the potential. And I am hoping we can be good examples for our kids and work past this. Wish us luck! (say a few prayers!!) ~~sincerely, justavolunteer