Question: When PTO President is the bully

What should we do when the pto president is the bully. The person as joined together with other board members to run off pto members. We started with a total of 10 pto member at the beginning of the year and now all that remains are the board members. Which consist of the President who is a parent/teacher, the vice-president, the treasurer, secretary, and a historian who is the mother in law of the president.I have personally seen how the members that left were treated. These board members act like the mean girls you see on tv. Hard to believe that grown women can act like this, but it is true. I have complain to the principle but have been told that she has no say of the pto because it is it's own entity. The pto is well liked by the teachers due to the fact that most of the money raised has gone on feeding them after school snack, and countless of teacher and staff meals. Such a B.B.Q, breakfast taco, and Mexican dinners. I my self am now being harassed by these ladies because I have raised questioned about the lack of money that is actually getting out to the kids. So what should we do??????

Asked by Anonymous



Advice from PTO Today

Rose H writes:
Well, for what it's worth, you are not the first person to write in about a PTO president acting like a bully. What strikes me in your question is the point that so many members have left the group. That is pretty telling and should be obvious to observers like the school principal. Do you have any other parent members who you can connect with and perhaps as a group you could request a conversation with the current board about getting more involved? From the way you portrayed things, sounds like that might not work. And, if that's the case, take it to the principal as a group. Appeal for help and point out to the principal how it is in his/her best interest to have an active parent group working on behalf of the students and the community, not just a PTO board that has closed ranks. Wondering if this article on dealing with difficult peoplemight give you some good tips? This article is one of our most popular, by the way. Stay in touch and let us know how you make out.

Community Advice

pamlightft writes:
I am in a situation where the board last year, this year and now next year all know each other from their kids activities, three out of four elected positions will be held by employees of the school system, and I continue to be shut out of "prime" volunteer activities. Yet, the PTSO president has allowed four or five people WHO DO NOT have children in the school THIS year to be volunteers, which is a practice that the principal did not know of late last year but continues to allow. What then is the purpose of being a paid-member? And, these people cleverly decided to switch positions for next year so as to not serve two consecutive years in one position, thereby limiting their ability to hold office. Meetings are held at 6 pm when working parents haven't yet arrived home from work. I ran for president for this year, with a prepared speech and several ideas. None of the candidates for offices this year had prepared speeches and tried to prevent me from giving mine. But, the people there who voted - and there was no confirmation that they were even paid members with children in the school - didn't care a wit about plans and voted for their buddies. And, if a family is paying one membership, should BOTH parents be allowed to vote, thereby casting TWO votes. PLUS, now, at the last meeting, one of the officers indicated that, as she has two chilldren in the same school, she should get TWO votes. So, if she and her husband attend meetings, she thinks she should get FOUR votes - one as officer, two for her children and then her husband's vote. The bylaws are very bad and, although I volunteered to assist with the revision, I have been prevented from doing so. Is there anyway - and the principal has indicated some approval with this latter issue but otherwise wants to keep out of it since he can't officially control the group. Is there anything to be done besides venting here (which I appreciate)?

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