Liz L writes:
Hi Melanie,
Sorry to hear things have been so challenging! Is it possible to take a step back and ask for a meeting to talk things through? If you can find out more about how the principal sees your group and then share what your group hopes to do—and how your hard work will benefit the children at the school—there’s a good chance the principal will become more open to your ideas. If this simply doesn't happen, maybe you can arrange to both meet with the superintendent to try to come to a better place?
In terms of how to spend the money, many PTOs budget a certain amount of money for the principal to spend on items or needs as they come up. However, the principal should be required to make a formal written request to the PTO board before she has access to these funds; the request should indicate how the money will be used and how it will benefit the students. The principal may come to the board with additional requests, and your board can handle those requests at its discretion. If your bylaws don’t specify to allocate funds through mutual discussion (with the final decision in the hands of the PTO board), then an amendment would be in order. You do want your budget to support the school’s goals, but you don’t want the school—or the principal—in control of your budget.
Good luck!