The following are all titles of Christmas Carols. Can you wade through the Guv'ment doublespeak and translate?

1. Colorless Yuletide
2. Castanea Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration
3. Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors
4. Righteous Darkness
5. Arrival Time: 24:00 Hours/Weather Conditions: Cloudless
6. Loyal Followers Advance
7. Far Off in a Feedbox
8. Array the Corridors
9. Lilliputian Male Percussionist
10. Monarchial Triad
11. Nocturnal Noiselessness
12. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers
13. Red Man en Route to Borough
14. Frozen Precipitation Commence
15. Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle
16. Antlered Quadruped Valentino Namesake with the Vermilion Proboscis
17. Query, regarding the Identity of Juvenile
18. Delight for this Planet
19. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings
20. The Gross Square Root Festive Twenty-four Hour Intervals
21. Jocund Elderly Martyr Lacking Five Cent Pieces
22. Expect My Arrival at My Domicile for Yuletide
23. Tintinabulate Hollow, Cup-shaped Metal Instruments
24. Perambulating in a Terrain of Stupefaction from 12/21 to 3/19
25. Oh Diminutive Hamlet of Israel South of Jerusalem
26. Hallucinating About an Ivory Yuletide in the First Person Narrative
27. Metallic Element AG Cup-shaped musical Instruments
28. Oh Yuletide Tall Woody Plant
29. I Witnessed Maternal Parent Osculating Bewhiskered Male in a Carmine Ensemble
30. Female Ancestor Experienced Collision with Rangifer Tarandus
31. Boreal Ice Crystal Homo Sapien
32. To This Place Advances the Personification of the Spirit of Christmas

i just found the post on corporal punishment. man is everyone going loopy lately or what??

how about We three kings.........i know it is hard but it is my favorite of all!!!

1, 2, on 3--all together........

We three kings of Orient are,
Bearing gifts we traverse afar,
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following yonder Star.

Chorus:
O, star of wonder, star of might,
Star with royal beauty bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy perfect light.

Born a babe on Bethlehem's plain;
Gold we bring to crown Him again;
King forever, ceasing never,
Over us all to reign.

Chorus

Frankincense to offer have I;
Incense owns a Deity nigh;
Prayer and praising, all men raising,
Worship Him, God on High.

Chorus

Myrrh is mine; its bitter perfume
Breathes a life of gathering gloom;
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying,
Seal'd in the stone-cold tomb.

Chorus

Glorious now behold Him arise,
King and God and sacrifice,
Heaven sings, "Hallelujah!"
"Hallejujah!" Earth replies.

Chorus

Yoho Yoho a pirates life for me?!??
Drink up me hearties yo ho
Somethin' Somethin' and a bottle of rum


OOOOOOHHHHH!!!! Pum Pum Not RUM!!!!

Doh wrong song!!!!

Guitar Solo

You cant have any meat until you eat your figgy pudding!!!!
Get me some figgy pudding?


D- it never goes away your right? Hence men with fast cars, nails in hand (via nailgun), silly Super Party and Sport Antic (painted team colors BUT NO clothes on in -20 deg weather, etc)

[ 12-19-2006, 08:49 PM: Message edited by: Shawn ]

So every year my family letter has a theme. One year the theme was "There's a bugger on my lampshade" which WILL be the title of my first book...and this year my theme will be "I almost accidently got my tooth stuck up my nose."..now let's look at that sentence and along with the what exactly occurred..."I" meaning he takes full responsibility, "almost accidently" how exactly is it almost an accident if you have a tooth that you can manipulate; that you "ccidently" shove it up your nostril; and then of course "got my tooth stuck up my nose"....okay take a moment and envision that. OHHHHHH now you might deduct that the boy had earlier that day lost a tooth....what in the heck propels you to then stick it into your nose? Is it the next closest oriface?, is it just too tempting to think that it might smell good?, what is it, what IS IT, that goes on in the minds of little boys and then (as they continue to grow) in the minds of men. I can only conclude that men that just HAVE to touch both prongs of the dog's electric collar begin with the same urges as my six year old.
Okay--now that you have hopefully felt the cheer of the year...I will return to my less than drab life -- and see what they are up to for next year's letter.

Merry Christmas
d

Hey, I'll stand out here and sing by myself (me and my drum) all night long. I don't care!

Little Drummer Boy: Lyrics

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.

Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum?

Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum.

Mmmmmm, warm cookies and cold milk for everyone!!! Enjoy!!!!!

Christmas Cookies
---by George Strait

Chorus 1:
I sure do like those Christmas cookies sugar
I sure do like those Christmas cookies babe
The ones that look like Santa Claus
Christmas trees and bells and stars
I sure do like those Christmas cookies babe

Verse 1:
Now Christmas cookies are a special treat
The more she bakes the more I eat
And sometimes I can't get myself to stop
Sometimes she'll wait til I'm asleep
And she'll take the ones that I didn't eat
And put those little sprinkley things on top

(Repeat Chorus 1)

Verse 2:
Now those sprinkley things just make things worse
Cause it makes em taste better than they did at first
And they're absolutely impossible to resist
Some disappear to who knows where
But I make sure I get my share
And those kids just stand there waiting for the ones I miss

Chorus 2:
I sure do like those Christmas cookies sugar
I sure do like those Christmas cookies babe
She gets mad if they're all gone
Before she gets the icing put on
I sure do like those Christmas cookies babe

Verse 3:
Now there's a benefit to all of this
That you might have overlooked or missed
So now let me tell you the best part of it all
Every time she sticks another batch in the oven
There's fifteen minutes for some kissin' and huggin'
That's why I eat Christmas cookies all year long